Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-12-2006, 08:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
Fremen's Avatar
 
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
The Politics of Ms. Beatrice

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.

#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

#4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.

"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense."

So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, He looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class, while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

=================
=================

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was
admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She
invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in
the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and
scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no
longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me
about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful?"
"I was walking through the
Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would
prevent the spread of disease."
"Do you know I haven't had the flu all
winter?"
__________________
Google
Fremen is offline  
Old 03-12-2006, 08:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: E. Tx
Hehehehe, nice finds Fremen.
__________________
Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body,
But rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting..Holy Shit! What a Ride!

Last edited by Mikey'56; 03-15-2006 at 01:30 PM..
Mikey'56 is offline  
Old 03-13-2006, 01:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
Brewmaniac's Avatar
 
First one's great, Thanks! Second one is very old.
__________________
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
Brewmaniac is offline  
Old 10-05-2009, 01:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
HA!
Xerxys is offline  
 

Tags
beatrice, politics

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:58 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57