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Old 03-12-2006, 08:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
Fremen's Avatar
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
The Politics of Ms. Beatrice

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.

#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

#4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.

"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense."

So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, He looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class, while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."


Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was
admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She
invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in
the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and
scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no
longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me
about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful?"
"I was walking through the
Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would
prevent the spread of disease."
"Do you know I haven't had the flu all
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Old 03-12-2006, 08:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
Location: E. Tx
Hehehehe, nice finds Fremen.
Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body,
But rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting..Holy Shit! What a Ride!

Last edited by Mikey'56; 03-15-2006 at 01:30 PM..
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Old 03-13-2006, 01:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
Brewmaniac's Avatar
First one's great, Thanks! Second one is very old.
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
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Old 10-05-2009, 01:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
Location: My head.
Xerxys is offline  

beatrice, politics

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