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Old 04-20-2006, 04:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Chicago
Barbeque Season

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
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Old 04-20-2006, 04:13 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Sometimes you have to turn the meet over too. Sheesh.
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Old 04-20-2006, 04:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by ubertuber
Sometimes you have to turn the meet over too. Sheesh.
My mistake...

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

A Very Important Part

7a) THE MAN FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE

Important again:

7b) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lesson Learned
12) MAN GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...
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Old 04-20-2006, 04:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: South Africa
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
... probably because there is some of danger involved.
'nuff said.
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Ok - can I edit my posts to read "what healer said"?
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Old 04-20-2006, 06:08 AM   #5 (permalink)
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That's not how it works at my house...
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Old 04-20-2006, 06:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
That's not how it works at my house...
Gawd, do I need to redo the joke to exclude Charlatan?
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Old 04-20-2006, 06:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Yellowknife, NWT
Is it BBQ season down south? Damn it's still below zero and a few feet of snow outside.


Hey, if I put the barbeque in the bathroom, the fan should keep the smoke detector from going off? hmmmmmmmm.
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Old 04-20-2006, 12:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: under a rock
Actually at the last barbecue I put the meat on AND took it off...the men were responsible for squirting lighter fluid on things and watchign them explode.
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Old 04-20-2006, 08:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Alaska, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antikarma
Is it BBQ season down south? Damn it's still below zero and a few feet of snow outside.
We BBQ all winter.

My job has additional duties. I actually have to season the meat..... salt and pepper is essential.
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Old 04-21-2006, 02:08 AM   #10 (permalink)
Zyr
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Location: Hamilton, NZ
Right, the super special, limited, collecters edition, directors cut, of the joke, made specially for Charlatan




After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man (not Charlatan) will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man (not Charlatan) volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man (still not Charlatan) who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN (NOT CHARLATAN) PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man (really, it's not Charlatan) that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

A Very Important Part

7a) THE MAN (I'M SERIOUS, IT'S NOT CHARLATAN) FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE

Important again:

7b) THE MAN (ANTI-CHARLATAN) TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN (DO I HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN?) and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man (not Charlatan) asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lesson Learned
12) MAN (CHARLATAN... NAH, I'M KIDDING, IT'S STILL NOT CHARLATAN) GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...
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Old 04-21-2006, 03:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
heh, I think charlatan's comment had something to do witht he fact that perhaps he does the shopping and all the prep work -- and does give his lovely wife the evening off - which of course means - He does get sex ... whenever he wants
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Old 04-21-2006, 05:15 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
...He does get sex ... whenever he wants...
So, you're not married, then.
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Old 04-24-2006, 03:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
...is a comical chap
 
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Location: Where morons reign supreme
Haha, I'm going to have to share this with my stepmother...this is exactly how bbq's at my dad's house goes...except he also makes his killer whiskey sours and everyone mellows out
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