Incompatibility can be a good thing! The man has income, and the woman is pattable.

My math teacher gave me this one.

q: What do you call a smart blonde?

a: A golden retriever

about a car
 

What the difference between a corvette and a porcupine?


The pricks are in the inside.

hehe ;) *tents fingers* excellent

The punchline really should have been

"On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside"

And by the way this has been posted except with a BMW. Please search first.

I got every single one of those jokes. That sad thing is, i heard a BUNCH of them before this thread was created... soo.. uhh.. someone's got some 'splainin' to do.

Truthful State Welcome Signs

(I apologize if a few of these are a bit esoteric...)

Welcome to Georgia--Yes, we know it's actually Florida on your mind, but hey, can't blame us for tryin'!

Welcome to Florida--Where the water's brown and the hair's blue.

Welcome to Delaware--Only 15 more miles to New Jersey!

Welcome to Alabama--Place redneck joke here.

Welcome to Arizona--Golf carts not permitted on I-10.

Welcome to Montana--We dare you to do 'reasonable and prudent' on a winding 12% mountain grade.

Welcome to West Virginia--Our family trees may not fork, but our roads sure as hell do.

Welcome to Missouri--We have ways of making you mispronounce the letter 'i.'

Welcome to Maryland--The geographical Rorshach test.

Welcome to North Carolina--Thank you for smoking.

Welcome to Kentucky--Famous for fried chicken? Well duh, the state's shaped like a drumstick!

Welcome to New Jersey--You want a friend? Go to Pennsylvania!

Welcome to Wyoming--Our census bureau is located next door to the Maytag repairman.

Welcome to Colorado--Now go back to California!

Welcome to Washington--Now go back to California!

Welcome to Hawaii--Now how the hell did you drive here?

At one point I had one for all 50 states, but they're either too lame or I like the place too much to make fun of it. More to come...

w00t. Texas isn't on there. Hmm...

Hmmm... where do I start?

Welcome to Texas--where all 5'2" women are 5'7".

Welcome to Texas--We no longer execute retards.

Welcome to Texas--Our children is learning to read.

Welcome to Texas--Former Home of George W. Bush... and Sammy Sosa.

Welcome to Texas--All of the ignorance of the South with none of the modesty!

Welcome to Texas--If you're just passing through, you better have one hell of an arm.

I had a hard time choosing just one--I figure since there are so many roads that cross into that state, we can use 'em all.

These are meant in jest and hopefully everyone takes 'em that way... I am from Florida remember!

The most terrible Jesus joke ever!
 

Q. Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?






A. It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

lol! Right on!

hah :D

:lol:Bwahahahahhahaha!:lol:

Oh that was beautiful!!!!

you know why the ladies all like jesus?




Cause he's hung like this (spread arms wide as if crusified but leavind hads turned in to show size)

Jesus walks into an inn and says to the innkeeper, "Can you put me up for the night?"

During the plague of the WWJD bracelts, I had a friend who would randomly run up and shout in a painiced voice "OK YOUR NAILED TO A CROSS..."

Thats so horrible yet so funny....lol good one!

a fine collection of absolutely dumb jokes
 

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Brilliant work, mate!

and clean! I can tell these to my kids, mostly.

some good ones in there

some groaners and some good ones. thanks

I thank you for that. Now I won't be the only one burning in hell for telling Jesus jokes.

heh, good one

great list man. kudos

Excellent list of funnies

Good list. Some classics there.

Glad

hahaha, good ones.

Q. What did the dumb guy say when he stubbed his toe?

A. Nothing.

those are great, thanks.

Haha, man I have had teachers that would tell jokes exactly like this all the time. Most were funny like these are, others brought pain to my right eyeball...

Number 14 is the best.

Interesting Use Of Capitals In That Post, Lol.
But really, thanks for posting, I liked 'em all. The groanier the better, I always say. Well, I never say it. Whatever. Thanks again.

Yeah, good ones, all. Sacrilarious!

Hahaha! Amen to that joke.

rhyme
 

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke a little reef ,
Jack got high pulled down his fly and Jill said where's the beef !

those were good, in a bad way.

Ha ha ha thats a funny one :lol:

Ouch...What Would Jesus Say about a joke like that?!? LOL...those are pretty horribly funny though.

I may go to hell for this, but I got a kick out of the joke

its funny cause its true