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Old 04-20-2003, 01:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Beautiful Van Nuys, California
The plane

A 767 is flying over the Atlantic. The engine fails, and the plane starts to go down. The stewardess runs into the cockpit, rips off her blouse and screams at the captain, "Please! Before I die, make me feel like a real woman!" The captain stands up, rips off his shirt and says, "Okay, iron this."
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Old 04-20-2003, 07:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Location: up north
damn! she must of been UGLY!
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Old 04-20-2003, 08:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hahahaha!!1 Thhanks
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Old 04-21-2003, 09:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
itty bitty titty committee chairman
 
must have been a long time ago for her to be a "stewardess" !!!

funny story
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Old 04-21-2003, 12:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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*ROFL* Man... that's so not right. Still, funny!
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
Tilted
 
got another airplane joke to add to that one.

A blonde gets on an airplane with a coach class ticket, but sits down in first class. I guy gets on the plane with the ticket for the seat she is sitting in. The guy says miss your in my seat and she replys "Im blonde, beautiful, and going to Miami and refuse to sit in the back of the plane." The man goes to the flight attendant and who goes to the blonde and asks her to move and she comes back with the same reply as before so the flight attendant goes to the captain and explains the situation to him. The captain thinks for a minute and then gets up and goes to the blonde and whispers something in her ear. The girl immediatly gets up and goes to her seat in the back. The man and the flight attendant are both amazed and asked what he said to her. He said "I simply told her the front of the plane wasnt going to Miami."
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Damn straight!
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:57 PM   #8 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
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Location: Wisconsin
She's goin' to Miami! But not on the front of the plane!!! Sounds like something that would really happen!
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: British Columbia
Hehe, Nice.
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Old 04-21-2003, 05:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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hehe seen this one... still good though
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Old 04-22-2003, 05:20 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.
Good one
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Old 04-22-2003, 12:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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both jokes are good, and that last one i think is more of a blonde joke... but still damn funny
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Old 04-22-2003, 07:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: ask your mom
both awesome. lol.
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Old 04-22-2003, 08:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
We're having potato pancakes!
 
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Location: stalag 13
I like it!
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Old 04-23-2003, 04:11 AM   #15 (permalink)
Insane
 
good stuff! but i'm with you Mexican, she better have been one ugly girl!
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Old 10-20-2003, 04:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: Sydney - Australia
Hahahahahahahahahaha
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Old 10-20-2003, 06:57 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: Sunny S.FLA
LOL

saved.

thanks
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Old 10-21-2003, 10:41 AM   #18 (permalink)
It wasnt me
 
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Location: Scotland
I liked them both. Thanks!
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Old 10-21-2003, 01:56 PM   #19 (permalink)
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HAHA Thats some funny shit. Thanks and keep 'em coming
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Old 10-21-2003, 04:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!
 
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Location: 105B
hehe
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Old 10-22-2003, 06:25 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: Sunny S.FLA
dude....it could be alot better... you gotta draw it out

A plane is hurtling toward the ground after both its wings are struck by lightning. The passengers start praying and panicing. one woman stands up in the aisle and screams: I want my final minutes to be memorable. Ive had plenty of sex, but no ones made me feel like a woman! Can any man here do that?
The plane goes silent. The passengers forget their own peril, and stare, riveted, at the woman. Then a tall, dark and handsome guy at the back of the plane stands up.
Honey, I can make you feel like a woman, he says. He walks up the aisle, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the man approaches. He takes off his shirt. Her lips part slightly. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches out to the trembling woman, extending his arm holding the shirt, and whispers... Iron this.
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Old 10-22-2003, 08:19 PM   #22 (permalink)
so many men...so little time.
 
Location: Bellingham
hehe
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Old 10-23-2003, 06:24 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Location: Tampa
yea that would be the funniest last moments of my laugh
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Old 10-24-2003, 06:01 AM   #24 (permalink)
Insane
 
that is a great one and yeah the chick must've been butt ugly for someone to react like that
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Old 10-24-2003, 07:15 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Location: Europe
Good ones!
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Old 10-24-2003, 10:25 AM   #26 (permalink)
The GrandDaddy of them all!
 
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Location: Austin, TX
lol, nice
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Old 10-29-2003, 12:49 PM   #27 (permalink)
Upright
 
Oh man thats funny!
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Old 11-01-2003, 05:09 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Location: USS George Washington
I've also heard it where Janet Reno and Rush Limbaugh are in a rapidly falling elevator.

-Mikey
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Old 11-01-2003, 11:55 AM   #29 (permalink)
Crazy
 
heheh all fo them good
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Old 11-01-2003, 12:55 PM   #30 (permalink)
Banned
 
Yay awesome
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Old 11-02-2003, 06:42 AM   #31 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: midwest
just me, maybe, and certainly not as funny, but I think the captain should have hit first, before telling her to iron his shirt (or asking her to do any other number of post-sex demeaning things we expect of women)
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Old 11-02-2003, 10:46 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Location: chocolate city
Heard it b4 in it's many guises but still funny
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Old 11-14-2003, 08:26 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Location: Limbus Patrum
Feel Like A Woman

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails.

Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He was gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers in a deep husky voice: "Iron this."
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Old 11-15-2003, 12:14 AM   #34 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
hehehehehe

heard it... but it always makes me laugh...
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Old 11-15-2003, 02:39 PM   #35 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Very funny, but this should be in the one liner section IMO (wherei think you can find this joke at least once).
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Old 11-15-2003, 03:28 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio! yay!
Funny, but my wife does not like the punch-line for some unknown reason...
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Old 11-16-2003, 12:46 AM   #37 (permalink)
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yeah...same joke three times on one thread..funny joke...gets old
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Old 11-16-2003, 04:50 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Funny, sexist, and silly. I liked it.
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Old 11-18-2003, 07:28 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Location: Portland Or-ah-gun
CLASSIC, thanks for the gem.
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Old 12-11-2003, 09:41 PM   #40 (permalink)
I stole my boyfriends TFP, hehe !!
 
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Location: Galveston, TX
Haha, I had a good laugh off that one, g/f hated it, ha.
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