nrclark

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"
St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back: as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, eh? How's your first day here?"
"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never," said Ralph. "Well, just relax and let it happen."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout,
"Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting the bed!" ...

Siege

Wow, that really did make me laugh

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"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find

Dilbert1234567

i spewed my drink on the screen...

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Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Toaster126

Wow. Okay, that was unexpected.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

raiha

good one!

SirLance

I laughed! That was a good joke!

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

healer

Great one!

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micah67

I can't believe I laughed... an unexpected moment.

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~micah

Lady Sage

WOW! The only thing better would be the look on his face when I told him he would be doing the laundry hahahahaha!

lemans

that was toooo funny! hahahah

Darklight Adept

wow, that's great, my wife had to come find out what I was laughing at so hard

SaltPork

hahahahahahahaha...that killed me. still chuckling, thanks!

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

asdf1001

ok .. that was SO funny it was DUMB !!! or is that so DUMB it was funny??? either way!@

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Goodbye!

genuinegirly

Yuckie.

and funny.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

STEPHY

lmao! that was a good one

Sultana

Eggxactly.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

nmm

lol... Nice one...

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Nihilistic Mad Man... Gallic Hedonist... Freak of Nature...