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Old 07-06-2006, 07:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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A hamburger, fries, and a coke.

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"


"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.


A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.


The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke."


The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."


Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.


This becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.


"The usual?" asks the waitress.


"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man.


"Same," says the ostrich.


Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."


Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.


The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"


"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."


"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"


"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.


The waitress asks, "But what's with the ostrich?"


The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with
everything I say."
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Old 07-06-2006, 11:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
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*groans*

Good one, I'll have to remember the part about exact change if I ever come across a genie.
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Old 07-06-2006, 11:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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This joke (but condensed) was in last month's reader's digest except the punch line was

The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall exotic chick with long legs."

Slightly different, but general idea. More all-ages friendly.
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
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Old 07-06-2006, 02:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Groan! Good one!
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