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Old 03-13-2007, 05:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
We work alone
 
LoganSnake's Avatar
 
Location: Cake Town
Why I Fired My Secretary

Friday was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant
and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane
knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I
nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy
Birthday.

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.
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Old 03-13-2007, 05:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
Devils Cabana Boy
 
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Location: Central Coast CA
oops... hehe
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Old 03-14-2007, 05:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Seems rather unfair to fire the secretary after he's the one who made the indiscretion.
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Old 03-25-2007, 12:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
Tilted
 
least he wasn't wearing a blindfold and leather chaps....
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Old 03-25-2007, 07:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
bermuDa's Avatar
 
Location: CA
Saw it coming, but still hilarious!
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Old 03-27-2007, 10:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: Utah
Haha. That's funny. Heard it before, but still funny!
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Old 03-27-2007, 02:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
I read this in a Dear Abby column when I was a kid. The main difference was that in that version he was wearing socks. I always thought that was a funny detail and it made the punchline punchier.
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Old 03-29-2007, 01:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
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Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
So would you propose that the punchline be altered slightly to a degree such as this:

Quote:
And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked...

...Wearing only a pair of linen socks and a rapidly-fading smile.
How do you like it? Think you can do better Charlie?
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Last edited by Jetée; 03-30-2007 at 04:45 AM.. Reason: To a 'T'
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Old 03-29-2007, 02:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Quote:
And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Wearing nothing but a pair of socks and a rapidly fading smile.


There were other details too... such as the secretary saying, "Let me go slip into something more comfortable." A cliche line to be sure but it's code for, you are going to get sex when I come back either naked or in some lingerie.
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Old 04-16-2007, 02:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Canada
WHY DISECT? ... THAT WAS FUNNY AS HELL THE WAY IT WAS TOLD ... GOOD ONE LOGAN ... "VANBLAH", ARE YOU FRIGGIN SERIOUS????
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