Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-11-2007, 11:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Longer is better

Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump (of course) didn't respond.

The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire."

The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that. You really don't want to make him mad!"

"Rubbish," replied the younger alien.

He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge.

"If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy," said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't mess with him."
mjby2 is offline  
Old 06-12-2007, 05:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: under a rock
Then barnacles are some baaaad mofo's.
__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.
Acetylene is offline  
Old 06-12-2007, 06:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
Found my way back
 
healer's Avatar
 
Location: South Africa
Didn't see that one coming. Nice
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Ok - can I edit my posts to read "what healer said"?
healer is offline  
Old 06-12-2007, 07:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
Mistress of Mayhem
 
Lady Sage's Avatar
 
Location: Canton, Ohio
Oh man. He just may be on to something there! Hahahahahahaha!!!
__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open
.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.
Lady Sage is offline  
Old 06-17-2007, 04:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Galactic wang law!
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 06-20-2007, 04:39 AM   #6 (permalink)
Addict
 
Deltona Couple's Avatar
 
Location: Spring, Texas
I swear i nearly fell off my chair while reading that.
__________________
"It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison
Deltona Couple is offline  
Old 06-21-2007, 11:58 AM   #7 (permalink)
Transfer Agent
 
troit's Avatar
 
Location: NYC
Only twice around huh?
__________________
I've yet to dephile myself...
troit is offline  
 

Tags
longer


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:44 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73