New Miracle Cure... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 11-14-2007, 05:39 AM

NEW - Miracle Cure!

· Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
· Do you suffer from shyness?
· Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

However, White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:

1. The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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2. The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like a idiot.
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3. The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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4. The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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6. The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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7. The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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8. The consumption of White Wine may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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9. The consumption of White Wine may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!

Redlemon · 11-14-2007, 08:31 AM

I liked the original better: the ad was for Tequilla.

uncle phil · 11-14-2007, 09:34 AM

after i posted it, i remembered the tequila one...

oh, well...

11-14-2007, 05:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	New Miracle Cure... NEW - Miracle Cure! · Do you have feelings of inadequacy? · Do you suffer from shyness? · Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine. White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. However, White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister. WARNING: 1. The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2. The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like a idiot. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ 3. The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4. The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5. The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6. The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7. The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8. The consumption of White Wine may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9. The consumption of White Wine may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked. NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-14-2007, 08:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I liked the original better: the ad was for Tequilla. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

11-14-2007, 09:34 AM	#3 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	after i posted it, i remembered the tequila one... oh, well... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.