Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-21-2003, 05:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
rockogre's Avatar
 
Location: SW Oklahoma
Things I Have Learned About Oklahoma:

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Oklahoma.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one's seen before.

Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their homes.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from October 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to go to the doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word.

A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation, watterin' the cows, or swimming.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.

Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.



More Oklahomanisms: You know you're from Oklahoma if:



1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store. (Note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word......)
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
11. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
12. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
13. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires six pages for local gossip and sports.
14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
16. You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."
17. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
18. You know whether another Oklahoman is from east,west, north or south Oklahoma as soon as they open their mouth.
19. There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.
20. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
21. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
22. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
23. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Oklahoma
__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom
rockogre is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 05:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
nice...
seawolfe is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 05:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
warrrreagl's Avatar
 
Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
Most of those sound Southern. Oh well.
__________________
Living is easy with eyes closed.
warrrreagl is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 08:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
MexicanOnABike's Avatar
 
Location: up north
hehe... i guess they would be funnier if i live in the US.
__________________
MexicanOnABike is offline  
 

Tags
learned, oklahoma, things

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:56 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73