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Old 02-13-2008, 12:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Why men don't write advice columns:
Dear Ted,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.
I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her.
When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious.
He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and
he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd
been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.
I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him any more.
I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Susie Fox
.....................................

Dear Susie,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.
If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem,
it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Ted

Last edited by Kung Fu Kid; 02-13-2008 at 12:29 PM..
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Old 02-13-2008, 01:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 02-13-2008, 02:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I don't see what's so funny about this. Ted clearly knows cars.
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Old 02-13-2008, 03:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hehe. i like this. I read between the lines on the response this way: "Hey, you don't need him anyway. Here's how to fix your car problem."
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Old 02-13-2008, 03:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboutmusic
I don't see what's so funny about this. Ted clearly knows cars.
Not really. Unless the car is twenty years old or more, it won't even have a carb. Just about every car built after 1990 (and a good portion of the ones built in the late 80s) used fuel injection. Giving advice about the float bowl is useless for fuel injected engines, as they don't have one.

Boo, Ted. Boo.
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Old 02-13-2008, 03:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Martian
Not really. Unless the car is twenty years old or more, it won't even have a carb. Just about every car built after 1990 (and a good portion of the ones built in the late 80s) used fuel injection. Giving advice about the float bowl is useless for fuel injected engines, as they don't have one.

Boo, Ted. Boo.

Indeed. And even if it was a carburated vehicle, the fuel pump is an unlikely culprit, in so far as low pressure goes. Fuel pumps on carburated cars are low pressure mechanical pumps. They either work or they do not.

Personally, I'd be checking the ignition coil(s). Often, when they go bad, the first symptom is a hot engine cutoff. Then, once cooled, they work fine again.
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Old 02-13-2008, 04:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Fine, so I suppose the reason men don't write advice columns is because they don't necessarily even know about cars...!

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Old 02-15-2008, 09:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
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The on exception to this rule - Fucking Doctor Phil... He's giving us a guys a bad rap.
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Old 02-15-2008, 09:38 AM   #9 (permalink)
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that was good

"doctor" phil is a fucking turd
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Old 02-15-2008, 09:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Is Doctor Phil male?
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Old 02-15-2008, 10:15 AM   #11 (permalink)
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*cues up UsTwo-style responses for future male advice columns*
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