Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-03-2008, 11:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Grandma tells it like it is...

Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; 'Mrs Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs Jones, do you know the deffence attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him.'

The deffence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: 'If either of you f#ckers asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair.'
mjby2 is offline  
Old 03-04-2008, 12:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
SSJTWIZTA's Avatar
 
Location: Windiwana
i got a good chuckle out of that.
__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller
SSJTWIZTA is offline  
Old 03-05-2008, 12:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
Transfer Agent
 
troit's Avatar
 
Location: NYC
Didn't see that coming - good one!
__________________
I've yet to dephile myself...
troit is offline  
Old 03-05-2008, 12:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Judge Judy knew what was coming next...
Willravel is offline  
 

Tags
grandma, tells

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:43 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73