JadziaDax

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time. "

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady idignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my friend how to spell a 'Mississippi'."

Slims

That's dumb enough to be funny. I like it.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

bravo49

Baffled me to the end

Flesh

lol ya, heard that one. funny

rundmv

had to re-read that one just to verify the spelling...hehe

potpie

Hehe, nice one with good ending.

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"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam"

(I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.)