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Old 04-15-2009, 07:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
Cheers
 
Shell's Avatar
 
Location: Eastcoast USA
You Have Two Cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull .Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The Government takes one & give one to your neighbour.
You form a Co-op to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State seizes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

AMERICAN BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then throw the milk away...

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

DEMOCRAT MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none - you feel guilty for being successful
REPUBLICAN MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none - So?

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want 3 cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. Most are at the top of the class at cow school.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows & a 2 bottles of Vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows (no Vodka)
The Mafia come & take how ever many cows you have.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows
None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have 2 bulls. Employees are regularly maimed & killed trying to milk them.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan - which is 2.
You don't milk them as you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40M grant from the US to find alternatives to milk production.
You use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Your two cows go into hiding & send radio tapes of their mooings.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. Most are illegal.
1 in 5 speaks English. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You go down to the pub for a few beers to celebrate.
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Old 04-15-2009, 01:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
Funny. Thanks
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Old 04-16-2009, 01:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Moyaboy's Avatar
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
My favorites....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shell View Post
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

DEMOCRAT MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none - you feel guilty for being successful

REPUBLICAN MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none - So?

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. Most are at the top of the class at cow school.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have 2 bulls. Employees are regularly maimed & killed trying to milk them.
That's pretty funny!
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Old 04-19-2009, 10:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: louisianna
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Old 04-19-2009, 11:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shell View Post
DEMOCRAT MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none - you feel guilty for being successful
REPUBLICAN MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none - So?
No, actually,

REPUBLICAN MODEL
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none - you take your neighbors farm as well. No point in owning a farm without cows.


This was great Shell.
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Old 02-01-2010, 10:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Location: Canada
Awesome! - I haven't seen this one in a LONG time. But it's got improvements!
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