uncle phil

10 December 2009, Philippines

This small island nation has already produced several of the most illustrious Darwin Award winners. Intelligence Blunders: National Bureau of Investigation agents cop a smoke in a room full of siezed explosives, and Home Grown Parachute: An airplane hijacker robs passengers then bails out with an untested homemade parachute. Now the Philippines have produced that rare oddity, the Double Darwin Award.

We begin with Francisco C. and Ronaldo C., two businessmen who own restaurants adjacent to one another on Apacible Boulevard in Batangas. Their tempers erupt over a poorly parked car.

One has partially blocked the door to the other's establishment, and this does not sit well. Heated words are exchanged, a fistfight breaks out! But bystanders pacifiy the fighters, and the situation is defused. Or is it?

Each man retreats to his respective car, pulls out a gun, and shoots the other--killing both. Francisco suffered two bullet wounds to his chest, Renaldo was shot once beneath his arm. Francisco, 41, and Ronaldo, 39, two enemies brought together in death--much to their own chagrin.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.