warrrreagl

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.



Q: What's yellow and doesn't float?
A: A bulldozer.



Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.

__________________
Living is easy with eyes closed.

Redlemon

Q: What's blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Daniel_

What's green and brown and will kill you if it jumps out of a tree onto you?

A snooker table.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Moyaboy

Nice!

__________________
"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."
- Steven Weinberg

Redlemon

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Baraka_Guru

Q: What's black and white and "red" all over?
A: A newspaper

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Q: What's orange and round and comes out of a tree?

A: A retarded kid's basketball.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Xerxys

What's brown and dead and spread all over?

A Terrorist.

Daniel_

What's black and yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Redlemon

Q: What's brown and rhymes with "Snoop"?
A: Dr. Dre.

(Is this joke racist? I don't think so. I just like the implied poop joke, along with the wordplay on phrase "rhymes with".)

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Daniel_

What's green and goes red at the touch of a button?

A frog in a blender.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝