Freezing To Death - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

LittleOralAnnie · 07-20-2003, 08:16 AM

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

PayUp · 07-20-2003, 09:09 AM

good jokes today, thanks

ssander9 · 07-20-2003, 09:11 AM

good one

Regziever · 07-20-2003, 02:00 PM

Hehehe! Really unexpected twist!! Good one!

TheClarkster · 07-20-2003, 11:33 PM

I'm sure he probably wants to kill him now. Oh well, he's too late.

MikeyChalupa · 07-21-2003, 04:13 AM

Heh... I remember a similar joke, where the guy throws the fridge out the window and hits a guy on the sidewalk.

Good times.

-Mikey

cchris · 07-21-2003, 04:58 AM

Loved that one.

SA22C · 07-21-2003, 10:43 PM

Ha ha haaa

Soda_BoB · 07-22-2003, 04:27 AM

Not bad, not bad at all

Gortexfogg · 07-22-2003, 06:43 AM

Nice one

The Rogue · 07-22-2003, 03:28 PM

hahahahahaha, great joke, 5stars

vinnyferrozzo · 07-22-2003, 03:31 PM

great joke thanks

Technomage · 07-22-2003, 03:57 PM

that was pretty good

oblar · 07-22-2003, 04:16 PM

hehe nice joke

smith0202 · 07-25-2003, 09:22 PM

The first one dies of a heart attack: after being unable to find the guy who was screwing his wife, he in frustration heaves the freezer out the window.
The second freezes to death; he's been screwing a guy's wife, and he hides in the fridge when he hears someone coming up the stairs.
The THIRD guy was screwing a guy's wife, when he hears the guy's car pull up to the house. So he walks down the side stairs and is calmly walking away when this fridge falls on him...

danno209 · 07-26-2003, 04:48 AM

heard it before, but still, thanks for posting.

yzf856 · 07-26-2003, 05:41 AM

good one

GremlinDelirium · 07-26-2003, 11:17 PM

i think i heard this in a blond joke form... but still funny, Thanks

tfpfreak · 07-28-2003, 01:12 PM

pretty good thanks

07-20-2003, 08:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
LittleOralAnnie Banned	Freezing To Death Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?" "I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says. "What do you mean?" asks the first man. "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

07-20-2003, 09:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
PayUp DILLIGAF Location: AZ	good jokes today, thanks __________________ Born to Lose.

07-20-2003, 09:11 AM	#3 (permalink)
ssander9 Amplitude Modulator Location: US	good one __________________ I never said you had to.

07-20-2003, 02:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	Hehehe! Really unexpected twist!! Good one! __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

07-20-2003, 11:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
TheClarkster Very Proud of Ya Location: Simi Valley, CA	I'm sure he probably wants to kill him now. Oh well, he's too late. __________________ Do not speak Latin in front of the books.

07-21-2003, 04:13 AM	#6 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Heh... I remember a similar joke, where the guy throws the fridge out the window and hits a guy on the sidewalk. Good times. -Mikey

07-21-2003, 04:58 AM	#7 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Loved that one. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

07-21-2003, 10:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
SA22C Upright	Ha ha haaa

07-22-2003, 04:27 AM	#9 (permalink)
Soda_BoB Psycho	Not bad, not bad at all __________________ Just because you paranoid.don't mean they're not after you...- Kurt Cobain-Chopper Read Project Dolphin: Join the TFP Typing Team!

07-22-2003, 06:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	Nice one

07-22-2003, 03:28 PM	#11 (permalink)
The Rogue Tilted	hahahahahaha, great joke, 5stars

07-22-2003, 03:31 PM	#12 (permalink)
vinnyferrozzo Tilted	great joke thanks

07-22-2003, 03:57 PM	#13 (permalink)
Technomage Banned	that was pretty good

07-22-2003, 04:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	hehe nice joke __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

07-25-2003, 09:22 PM	#15 (permalink)
smith0202 Upright	The first one dies of a heart attack: after being unable to find the guy who was screwing his wife, he in frustration heaves the freezer out the window. The second freezes to death; he's been screwing a guy's wife, and he hides in the fridge when he hears someone coming up the stairs. The THIRD guy was screwing a guy's wife, when he hears the guy's car pull up to the house. So he walks down the side stairs and is calmly walking away when this fridge falls on him...

07-26-2003, 05:41 AM	#17 (permalink)
yzf856 Upright	good one

07-28-2003, 01:12 PM	#19 (permalink)
tfpfreak Crazy Location: MS	pretty good thanks __________________ Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. ~ Clementine Paddleford

07-26-2003, 04:48 AM	#16 (permalink)
danno209 Upright	heard it before, but still, thanks for posting.

07-26-2003, 11:17 PM	#18 (permalink)
GremlinDelirium Insane Location: Pullman, WA	i think i heard this in a blond joke form... but still funny, Thanks __________________ Go Cougs! ~WSU~