Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-04-2003, 08:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
Insane
 
o14real's Avatar
 
Snappy Answers:

<div align="center">
Snappy Answers:

Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said Sir I need to see your ticket, not your stub."


Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"


A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"


The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."





</div>
o14real is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 09:54 AM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Here and there and everywhere
The last one was the best.... thanks this put a smile on my face!
Katyblu is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 11:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
Amplitude Modulator
 
Location: US
Great shortys, got a good laugh out of me!
__________________
I never said you had to.
ssander9 is offline  
Old 08-04-2003, 08:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
back from sabbatical
 
hawkeye's Avatar
 
Location: Mosptopia
that last was the best. thanks.
__________________
You're not fat,
You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.
hawkeye is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 11:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
Sexy eh?
 
Location: Sweden
Hillarious!! great post! hehehe..
__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine
Regziever is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 04:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
Insane
 
Heard the first couple . . . but that last one is rich . .
__________________
------------------------------------------------
Insert Witty Slogan Here . . . . .
snoop is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 04:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
Junkie
 
cchris's Avatar
 
Location: Sydney
Yeah they were great
__________________
There's a fine line between participation and mockery
cchris is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 04:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
DILLIGAF
 
PayUp's Avatar
 
Location: AZ
i bet that guy shut up real fast.
__________________
Born to Lose.
PayUp is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 04:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
My own person -- his by choice
 
Location: Lebell's arms
ditto - had to read the last one to my bf it was so funny!
__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
sexymama is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 08:34 AM   #10 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: MS
I love the last one! Wish i couldve been there to see the look on his face
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford
tfpfreak is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 10:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
Tilted
 
good one...thanks
baboora is offline  
Old 08-07-2003, 12:51 AM   #12 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
The last one, the best one
bravo49 is offline  
Old 08-07-2003, 11:41 AM   #13 (permalink)
Crazy
 
From The Family Guy, unaired episode:

Lois: I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm married to a child.
Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
lyxo is offline  
Old 08-07-2003, 12:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
Eh?
 
Stare At The Sun's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
that last one rules. i bet that kid was like "ahh fuck"
Stare At The Sun is offline  
Old 08-07-2003, 06:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
Banned
 
They're dead. I love it.
Two brothers who are friends of mine and myself were at a auto parts store. The younger of the two was at the counter paying for a pump of some sort. He hands the babe at the register a $100 very proudly, snapping the bill to draw attention. "Do you have anything smaller?" she says. He was befuddled, there was a breif momment of silence that was broken by my voice as I said, "Yeah, but he can't show it to you." She died, the whole store joined in. My friend took it as the joke it was and waited 14 years till the time was right to deliver the line himself. Glad I wasn't on the other side of it.
bonbonbox is offline  
Old 08-08-2003, 08:34 PM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
last was great
red_zinfandel8 is offline  
Old 08-08-2003, 09:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!
 
iktoweya's Avatar
 
Location: 105B
that was a good laugh
__________________
i miss K-Wise
iktoweya is offline  
 

Tags
answers, snappy

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:31 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62