Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-05-2003, 03:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
Wonder Play

Ever Wonder Why...

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.

It's bad enough that you step in dog shit, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.

There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.

You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.

The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.

Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.

You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago, and now you can't find it.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 08-05-2003, 06:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
Junkie
 
cchris's Avatar
 
Location: Sydney
I'm in stiches here

Funny and frustrating.

Did I spell that right?
__________________
There's a fine line between participation and mockery
cchris is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 08:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: MS
thanks alot
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford
tfpfreak is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 09:29 AM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Steel Town, Ontario
That damn dog's in other neighbourhoods too?
__________________
After all is said and done,
more is said than done.
icy_ca is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 12:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: cali
Quote:
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
that's my neighbor's dog. barks at the back of the trash can for hours. then barks at me, while i'm sittin in MY garage for another 2 hours. i feel like jumping over there and strangling the dog.
__________________
no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry

question authority, don't ask why, just do it!
slant eyes is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 01:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: where happiness lives
More like things that suck than things you wonder about
__________________
someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too
Happyland is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 02:45 PM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Hawaii
the glass is almost completely empty...
...
__________________
Thank you, come again.
Same Guy is offline  
 

Tags
play

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:33 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360