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Old 08-12-2003, 05:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
Location: Canada
Any joke

Couldnt find a place to put this one so here it is:

3 men were sitting at a bar complaining about how much they had drank the other day at their friends house party:

1st guy: Man I drank so much I passed out on the driveway before i could get in the car!

2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well I managed to wrap my car around a tree!

3rd guy: Oh thats nothing! When I got home I blew CHUNKS!

1st+2nd: Whatddaya mean!?Thats nothing!

3rd: Oh yeah? Well Chunks is my dog.
mew is offline  
Old 08-13-2003, 03:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
Hiding Out

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Old 08-13-2003, 05:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
Brewmaniac's Avatar
Sick! Funny too!
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
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Old 08-14-2003, 03:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
Location: chocolate city
I fell ill
bravo49 is offline  
Old 08-14-2003, 03:03 AM   #5 (permalink)
Silvy's Avatar
Location: The Netherlands
ooooh... that's bad!
made me chuckle though...
"Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. "
- Murphy MacManus (Boondock Saints)
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Old 08-14-2003, 06:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
Location: NJ

A woman brings her parrot to the vet. It's obviously dead. Vet glances at it and says, sorry ma'am your bird is dead. She says, you barely even looked at him, please examine him. He says that an exam will cost $20. She agrees. He takes a few more minutes and checks over the bird. Then tells her there's nothing he can do.

She says "I want a second opinion." With that he brings a cat into the room and places it next to the bird. The cat looks over the parrot and shakes her head side to side.

The vet then brings a dog into the room. The dog climbs up on the table sniffs the bird and shakes his head.

The vet says "well there you have it. That will be $120." The woman cries, "But you just said it would be $20!!!" The vet replies, "Yes but that was before the cat scan and lab results."
Strive to be more curious than ignorant.
onetime2 is offline  
Old 08-14-2003, 08:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!
iktoweya's Avatar
Location: 105B
hmmmm hehehe
i miss K-Wise
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Old 08-16-2003, 05:23 AM   #8 (permalink)
Location: Australia
Ohh.... the first joke is wrong......
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

Samuel Goldwyn
Tickford is offline  
Old 08-16-2003, 08:28 AM   #9 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog's Avatar
Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.
I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

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Old 08-16-2003, 10:24 AM   #10 (permalink)
Location: beverly hills,fl
A Baptist Minister, a Catholic Priest, and a Jewish Rabbi are sitting on a park bench. A teenage boy jogs by in front of them. The Minister says, " What a fine young man." The Priest replies, " Yeah, I'd like to screw him!" The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"
lola218 is offline  
Old 08-16-2003, 06:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
Location: Canada
LOL hilariouse jokes ppl!I work as a vet clinic..im gonna tell that to the girls..catscan,labresults..i love,love!

A friend told me this one..I dont know if I can recall it proplery..:

3 men were out fisihing on a lake. All of a sudden one of the men's line went taut and he yelled out:
" I cant hold her!"
and the fish pulled him in before the others could help.
"Oh No! Fred! Hes not resurfacing!"
So one of the men dove in while the other waited patiently. After 2 long minutes of waiting out came two men.
"Grab him Paul! Help him into the boat!"
Quickly Paul grabbed the man and Fred exclaimed:
" Hes gone purple, blue and green! Hurry!"
So Paul began giving CPR, while he was doing this Fred said:
"Funny...I dont remember George ever wearing a scubadiving outfit..."
mew is offline  
Old 08-16-2003, 06:46 PM   #12 (permalink)
sick but funny


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