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08-13-2003, 04:08 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Tilted
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A man or El Flamo
Hope this isn't offensive to anybody...I thought it was pretty funny myself:
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun,come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, craw fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or breasts. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tasteslike. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there too. 6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it......you're hungry for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with the bitch in the passenger seat. 8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. 9. Sandals! Any man wearing sandals obviously has an urge to gargle a nut. Wearing sandals with socks is asking for Double penetration. The real purpose of sandals is to help accentuate the limp wristed, loose ass gait hat fags like you have. |
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08-13-2003, 10:06 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Upright
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How about this? Anyone who knows all the things gay folks do must be a flaming queer. I, and any other straight person would assumed people who did those things were just weird, but I guess you have to actualy be gay to know those things are for homos.
Last edited by twist769; 08-13-2003 at 10:09 PM.. |
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08-14-2003, 12:32 AM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Hiding Out
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Then it's unanimous, this list is bullshit.
Cat's rule cuz they dont stink like a flaming turd pile such as a dog, and I'm a hippie and thus am sandal clad! So screw you.
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Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition |
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08-14-2003, 12:02 PM
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#6 (permalink) | |
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Sky Piercer
Location: Ireland
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Quote:
Kickass joke BTW.
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08-14-2003, 04:49 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: In the middle of the desert.
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I laughed all the way through it, and before you liberal commie bastards chastise me, let me tell you that I emailed the list to my gay nephew, and he replied back to tell me that he'd laughed his queer ass off (his words, not mine).
Of course, the one thing we have in common is that we are secure in our various sexualities, and thus not offended by humorous observations such as this.
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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes. |
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08-16-2003, 04:39 AM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Columbia Falls, MT
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You know what pisses me off. If the joke had been written from a gay man's view making fun of straight men, nobody would say anything about it. It's a joke, lighten up.
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Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole days |
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| flamo, man |
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heh that made me smile 
