Nursery rhymes - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tickford · 08-21-2003, 10:21 PM

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you d!ckhead."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Frankie.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.

Keg-o-Grog · 08-22-2003, 02:27 AM

that one was deep mon

cchris · 08-22-2003, 07:04 AM

Ha ha ha ha

Great stuff

Darkblack · 08-22-2003, 07:23 AM

nice.

sexymama · 08-22-2003, 07:41 AM

As a Kindergarten teacher/reading specialist -- I love them! Teaching nursery rhymes will never be the same.

Tiger69z · 08-22-2003, 03:38 PM

The 2nd one's the best imho

SirLance · 08-22-2003, 04:06 PM

Funny stuff!

Slims · 08-23-2003, 02:34 PM

Those are fucking great. Especially the lamb one.

08-21-2003, 10:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tickford Insane Location: Australia	Nursery rhymes Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides and every time that Mary walked the boys could see her Thighs Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front ...but she didn't wear that one very often Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn. It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn. Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there? Said the Pieman unto Simon, "Pies, you d!ckhead." Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "F*ck him, He's only an egg. Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up it's ass and turned it's wool to nylon Georgie Porgy pudding and pie. Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play, He kissed them too, cause he was gay. Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill And now there's little Frankie. Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. When she bent over Rover took over, And gave her a bone of his own. Little Boy Blew. Hey. He needed the money. __________________ Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. Samuel Goldwyn

08-22-2003, 02:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	that one was deep mon __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

08-22-2003, 07:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Ha ha ha ha Great stuff __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

08-22-2003, 07:41 AM	#5 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	As a Kindergarten teacher/reading specialist -- I love them! Teaching nursery rhymes will never be the same. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

08-22-2003, 04:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Funny stuff! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

08-22-2003, 07:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
Darkblack Banned Location: Pennsytuckia	nice.

08-22-2003, 03:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Tiger69z Banned Location: Sunny S.FLA	The 2nd one's the best imho

08-23-2003, 02:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Those are fucking great. Especially the lamb one. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence