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Old 04-24-2003, 03:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Location: British Columbia

My name is Billy Evans, and I'm a nine-year-old boy. My mother
is typing this for me because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so
sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt,
except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is
a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they
could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy
doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't
cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even
though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real
bad. I hope you will help me.

You can help me if you forward
this email to everyone you know. Forward it
to people you don't know, too.

Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill
Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding,
NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the
astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.
Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a
collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors
could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play
baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to
the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy
is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and
heartless bastard who doesn't care about a po
or little boy with only a head.
She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden
stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever
in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin'
minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and
shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans
RenegadeSoul is offline  
Old 04-24-2003, 04:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
You know the sad part about this is that even though it's so obviously fake and downright hilarious, some people still thought it was true.
BubblegumTeflon is offline  
Old 04-24-2003, 08:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
Yeah, I hate people who take obviously fake and hilariously chain letters seriously >_>
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
- Jack Handey
pancakerabbit is offline  
Old 04-25-2003, 02:12 AM   #4 (permalink)
forgotten_dream's Avatar
Heh. God I hate getting chain letters like that. Still, the fake one's are funny!
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."
forgotten_dream is offline  
Old 04-25-2003, 05:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
Darth Papa
ratbastid's Avatar
Location: Yonder
It's the signoff that kills me. Billy "Smiley" Evans. Hys-frigging-sterical!
ratbastid is offline  

billy, evans

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