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Old 09-01-2003, 03:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Two Irish guys dieing in the desert

There are two Irish guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.

"Oh my, god" says Mick. "It's a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right!" says paddy. So Paddy goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

Mick quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Paddy.

"Paddy!! Paddy!! What on earth happened?"
With his dying breath Padddy calls out "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree...

(scroll down, it's worth it)





















































"it's a ham bush"




Good eh?? I liked that one indeed
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Old 09-01-2003, 04:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: SW NEW HAMPSHIRE
insomniac, that was the best one ive heard in days keep 'em coming.
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Old 09-01-2003, 05:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
how do you poach an irishman?







shoot him out of season
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Old 09-01-2003, 06:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
groan! lol
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Old 09-01-2003, 08:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
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Location: Wisconsin
Yikes!!! I guess I should have seen it coming, but either way...nice.
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Old 09-01-2003, 08:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
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That's so bad it's funny! Thanks
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Old 09-01-2003, 10:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Lol..only on TFP...only on TFP
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Old 09-01-2003, 10:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
Junkie
 
thats great
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Old 09-01-2003, 10:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
Sarge of Blood Gulch Red Outpost Number One
 
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Location: On the front lines against our very enemy
Wow, lack of sleep made that one really punny.
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Old 09-01-2003, 11:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: OMFG BRB
Quote:
Originally posted by archer2371
Wow, lack of sleep made that one really punny.
Good call!!
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Old 09-02-2003, 12:34 AM   #11 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Nottingham, England
Ouch that joke was painful.
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Old 09-02-2003, 12:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
Eh?
 
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Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
wow, that was painful.
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Old 09-03-2003, 12:51 PM   #13 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: In Games.
Ouch... Punny, but ouch!
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Old 09-03-2003, 01:10 PM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: Tiger I Turret
That joke is going straight to the printer and is gonna be hanging on my wall for quite a while!

Thanks for the joke!
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Old 09-03-2003, 07:26 PM   #15 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Sunny S.FLA
HAHA i cracked up hard...

I'm memorizing that one
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Old 09-03-2003, 08:20 PM   #16 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
Arggghh! Got me!
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Old 09-03-2003, 08:54 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: Nor Cal
Thats clever!
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Old 09-04-2003, 09:26 AM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Austria
lol

muahahhahaahhhaa
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Old 09-04-2003, 11:22 AM   #19 (permalink)
Custom title.
 
Location: Denmark.
Haha, that one's going to be told aaaaall over work
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Old 09-04-2003, 05:40 PM   #20 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
 
MichaelFarker's Avatar
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
I loved that. I'm going to tell it in about 20 minutes and probably again this weekend. Thanks insomniac.
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Old 09-04-2003, 06:31 PM   #21 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: midwest
a joke that will even cause the kids to groan...not all bad
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Old 09-04-2003, 06:50 PM   #22 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Northern California
Good grief!
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Old 09-04-2003, 09:59 PM   #23 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: San Diego, CA
Another bad joke to add to my collection... I think I like them better than the good ones.
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Old 09-04-2003, 10:07 PM   #24 (permalink)
Very Proud of Ya
 
Location: Simi Valley, CA
That one is awfully good. If that even makes sense.
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Old 09-05-2003, 02:13 AM   #25 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Norway
Haha, good joke
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Old 09-05-2003, 02:23 AM   #26 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.
whaaahaaa supah neat
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Old 09-05-2003, 07:21 PM   #27 (permalink)
back from sabbatical
 
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Location: Mosptopia
W00t!! that was great!
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Old 09-06-2003, 02:44 AM   #28 (permalink)
Tilted
 
I spent the evening telling it friends in the pub, it goes down great if you (well preferably the person you're telling) has had a couple of beers!
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Old 09-06-2003, 07:31 AM   #29 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Oh man..."ham bush"...funny stuff!
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