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A flight is near the end of its journey and the captain goes through the usual procedure of announcing to the passengers that they need to fasten their seat belts and prepare for landing.

This time he forgets to switch off his microphone and continues his conversation with the co-pilot, who asks him what he has planned after they land, the captain says, "First thing I will do is go for a good shit i've been holding it in all flight"
The co-pilot says," no you misunderstand I mean have you any plans for tonight"
The captain, " Oh right, well yes actually I have, you know that new blonde hostess, Iam going to give her a good seeing to, she should be easy enough to pull"

The air hostess on hearing this races up the aisle towards the cockpit. When half way down the aisle an old lady puts her hand out and stops her and says to the blonde, "Take your time love he has to go for a shit first!"