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09-12-2003, 03:03 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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Newspaper Play
NEWSPAPER ADS
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG. 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION - $6800 COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000 STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15 SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE - 89 cents GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY.LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME. FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50 NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE...BETTER BE REWARD. HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER. HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED - $100 TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE:PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD. EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175. OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300. LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY. ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb. GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL. BAR S SLICED BALOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY. SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2 OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
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09-12-2003, 12:33 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Adrift
Location: Wandering in the Desert of Life
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I have seen a few of these before, I have a friend who's brother used to work for Leno, and went through all of the stuff that people send to him and said that it was amazing. Many of them are typos and some are just entrepreneurial/creative folks. I enjoyed the list - thanks!
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." -Douglas Adams |
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