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Old 04-25-2003, 09:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
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Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
Baghdad Bob quotes (long post)

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf
Insulting Quotes from the Iraqi Information Minister

We're going to drag the drunken, junkie nose of Bush through Iraq's desert; him and his follower dog, Blair.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

They are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

I can say - and I am responsible for what I am saying - that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We will slaughter them; Bush Junior, and his international gang of bastards!
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

They're coming to surrender, or be burned in their tanks.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on the American media

They are most welcome. We will butcher them.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We will welcome them with bullets and shoes.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces (Hitting someone with your shoe is a grave insult in Iraq. It means they are like the dirt on your shoe.)

We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers! They think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win. Those bastards!
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We have placed them in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

They are trapped in Umm Qasr. They are trapped near Basra. They are trapped near Nasiriyah. They are trapped near Najaf. They are trapped everywhere.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Most of their infidels had their throats cut.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds at the gates of Baghdad.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Today I have visited whole Baghdad city. No invaders found. You go and see how we have ousted them from this city. They are crying outside and waiting to receive bullets. They will be killed shortly.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

The situation is excellent, they are going to try to approach Baghdad, and I believe their grave will be there.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

Yes, the American troops have advanced further. This will only make it easier for us to defeat them.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

By God, I think this is rather very unlikely. This is merely a prattle. The fact is that as soon as they reach Baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them. Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean, here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

They fled. The American louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Arab Socialist Baath Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the American soldiers. We had not anticipated this.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

The shock has backfired on them. They are shocked because of what they have seen. No one received them with roses. They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will backfire on them. This is the boa snake. We will extend it further and cut it the appropriate way.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Their military effort is a subject of laughter throughout the world.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Their forces committed suicide by the hundreds. The battle is very fierce and God made us victorious.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We will push those crooks - those mercenaries - back into the swamp.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Those Iraqi fighters are slapping those gangsters on the face, and then when they flee, they will kick their backsides.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Don't believe anything! We will chase the rascals back to London!
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on British forces

We're now trying to exhaust them, until our leadership decides the time and method to clean our territory of their desecration.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

One hundred infidels committed suicide as they entered the holy city of Baghdad. Their tanks will become their tombs.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

Are these the Americans? People remain silent and placate the Americans. By God, they only deserve scorn. We slaughtered them yesterday and we will continue to slaughter them.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

Bush knows that he is standing in quicksand when it comes to his baseless talk on Iraq.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

They are not in Najaf. They are nowhere. They are on the moon. They are snakes in the desert.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

We expect the aggressors to use anything, we don't rule-out that in their depression at being vanquished, those losers will become hysterical and commit even more folly.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces

God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces



And finally, my very favorite:
These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying.
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on coalition forces
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Old 04-30-2003, 01:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
Hello, good evening, and bollocks.
 
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Location: near DC
Hilarious post!!!
In the words of President Bush, "He's my man, he's great!" He was a classic.

And it sounds like he's alive! Check out the following link from today's BBC News website:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2986459.stm

If he really is alive he should move to Hollywood. He'd make a great game show host...
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Old 04-30-2003, 01:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It's a sig smorgasbord.
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Old 04-30-2003, 04:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
Squid
 
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You missed my favorite one!

"This is a complete disgrace. They are a superpower of villains. They are a superpower of Al Capone."
- Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

I miss Comical Ali. I hope he is still alive. Poor guy can't even give himself up to the Americans.

-Mikey
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Old 04-30-2003, 04:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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That my friend is funny.
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Old 04-30-2003, 09:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You know, those will never, ever get old.
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Old 05-01-2003, 10:29 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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ehehe,,, some of these are realy funy!
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Old 05-01-2003, 02:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Of course no-one'll arrest him. Anyone who imprisons Baghdad Bob risks immediate public hanging by the voting public of the coalition!

I'd go further... I'd bet that if Baghdad Bob ran for US President or UK Prime Minister in a snap election he'd win. Let's face it, a politician who's so obviously honest about his lying is a rare and valuable thing.

So the vote is: Baghdad Bob / Bill Clinton - 2004.
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Old 05-01-2003, 05:02 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I wonder if North Korea has an option on Baghdad Bob's writing team?
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Old 05-01-2003, 05:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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funny - even though he didn't intend it that way
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Old 05-01-2003, 09:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Best Iraqi Information Minister Joke
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