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Old 09-30-2003, 12:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
rmarshall's Avatar
Location: Kingston,Ontario
Why Americans shouldn't be allowed to travel...

Travel Agent Stories

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

"A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
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Old 09-30-2003, 12:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
O M G !!!!!
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Old 09-30-2003, 12:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: NJ (but just for college)
wow, they are all funny

i thought the florida one was the best
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Old 09-30-2003, 01:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: The Netherlands
Very good!

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Old 09-30-2003, 01:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
OMg LOL those were hilarious.. thanks for Sharing lol
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Old 09-30-2003, 02:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
Location: uk
You can just imagine people like that and it reminds of when I went to the Isle of Man off the north west coast of the Uk on a stag weekend.
One of the lads said he had stayed on the island before but couldn't remember the name of the hotel he stayed at.
When we passed the hotel he said, "thats it there the almoral" We all fell about laughing, the the sign was not lighting up the B and he thought it was the almoral he had stayed in, he was that dense he still didn't realise why we were laughing which made it even funnier.
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Old 09-30-2003, 02:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
Very Proud of Ya
Location: Simi Valley, CA
It never ceases to astound me how stupid some of our fellow americans are.
Very good.
Do not speak Latin in front of the books.
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Old 09-30-2003, 03:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
bad craziness
m0rpheus's Avatar
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Gotta say I love the Canada/UK one, but thats probably because I'm Canadian.

It astounds me how little some American's know about their own country, and even less about the rest of the world.
"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
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Old 09-30-2003, 04:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
Re: Why Americans shouldn't be allowed to travel...

Originally posted by rmarshall
"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
Hilarious. People are so stupid.
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Old 09-30-2003, 04:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
Location: The Canyons - Boarding
LOL that was too good. I really like the one about the visa!

Some peaple can be so stupid it is amazing that they could hold a job to even pay the phone bill let-alone pay for the vacation!
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Old 09-30-2003, 05:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
Reminds me of when I grampa was visting southern cal and when he told her he was from Wisconsin she welcomed him to America, because she tough WI was a city in Canada.

Americans that travel abroud seem to be the most ignorant and arrogant of all. I was in a chop in london when some college girl was throwing a fit that they didnt have Doritos. I found out the best thing you can do is put a Canadian flag on your carry-around bag so folks dont think your from the US
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Old 09-30-2003, 05:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
Hey Bigjule, maybe Americans are perceived as arrogant because everybody else gives them a bunch of crap. And actually, American students score higher in general knowledge tests and geography tests than do Canadians. The fact is, Americans like to travel and explore, and see their roots and heritage. If you go to Europe, its all white. Go to Canada, all white. Go to Asia, all yellow. Go to Australia, all white. America, the melting pot of the world. We accept anybody and offer them the chance to succeed. Try getting a job in Europe with their tough labor laws and see if you can get one without being part of the European Union.
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Old 09-30-2003, 07:31 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Florida
ROFL, hilarious!
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Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins
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Old 10-01-2003, 07:31 AM   #14 (permalink)
Ok Pocon, here is why Americans are percieved to be arrogant and ignorant, at least in London. Because the majority of americans students that visit there are. They are there on daddies credit cards and are visiting for a 3 month sex and drinking binge with little or no interest in exploring a new culture. Not all students are like this mind you, but most of them are.
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Old 10-01-2003, 08:13 AM   #15 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
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Location: In the dust of the archives
Further documentation of the necessity for mandatory sterilization.
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

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Old 10-01-2003, 09:32 AM   #16 (permalink)
rmarshall's Avatar
Location: Kingston,Ontario
Originally posted by pocon1
<snip> Go to Canada, all white. <snip>.
You haven't been to Toronto.
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Old 10-01-2003, 06:40 PM   #17 (permalink)
Hey BigJule, all students are on sex and drinking binges, wherever they are from. Americans who come from a place that restricts drinking to 21 and over probably go a little crazy with no restrictions.
Rmarshall, I did spend a couple of days in Windsor, Ontario and it was pretty white. I know a lot of Indians and Arabs have moved to Canada because of Canada's liberal immigration policies, but America is much more culturally diverse then most other countries. The fact is, anyone who arrives here legally can find opportunities. Right now we have a large former Austrian who stands a good shot of being elected governor of a state who's economy eclipses most of the rest of the world. Seventh largest economy in the world. I know this is the humor section, but I guess I do have one or two sacred cows, and Anti-Americanism is one of them. We are not perfect, but we are a capitalist democracy and so far there is no better form of government, and history has proven that. No other country that has anything like our population size and diversity has been able to provide for its citizens so well. We have 300 million people, and more arrive every day. People come here for a reason.
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Old 10-01-2003, 09:20 PM   #18 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
MichaelFarker's Avatar
Location: Dallas, Texas
That was one of the funniest posts I've ever seen!
Somehow, I feel much dumber now.
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Old 10-02-2003, 02:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.
great great
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Old 10-02-2003, 04:50 PM   #20 (permalink)
Oh man we really shouldn't travel
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Old 10-03-2003, 07:23 AM   #21 (permalink)
i thought i found the dumbest people when i went into a gas station

(no offense to the people that work at gas stations)
Come on
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Old 10-03-2003, 07:30 AM   #22 (permalink)
very funny i couldnt stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-03-2003, 08:05 AM   #23 (permalink)
Location: the hills of aquafina.
Speaking as a human being, (although I am american), it is embarassing how STUPID some people are. I join the rest of the world in laughing at us. lol

Our only hope for the future that these people will be naturally selected and the gene pool will get cleaned up a little. Otherwise....these are the people raising our future leaders....(shudder)

I also have to agree with pocon1. We do some things wrong, but we do some things right as well. All the rest of the world sees is what we do wrong. I guess it's easier to point out faults than it is to point out the positive.
"The problem with quick and dirty, as some people have said, is that the dirty remains long after the quick has been forgotten" - Steve McConnell
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Old 10-03-2003, 08:22 AM   #24 (permalink)
Arc101's Avatar
Location: Nottingham, England
Yep good stuff. One of my best times in Amsterdam was following a bunch of elderly Americans as they did a tour round the red light district. Some of the comments they made were excellent, and the look on their faces when they came across the penis fountain was priceless.
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Old 10-03-2003, 08:24 AM   #25 (permalink)
Redwing fan extraordinaire
Location: Michigan
Ya'll need to stop trying to turn this into a political debate...... the first stuff posted was funny!!!!!!!!! Although, I am having a hard time believing the Hippopontamus, NY one. good post, rmarshal!!!!!!!!!
Its good to be back.
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Old 10-03-2003, 12:58 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Location: Oreegawn
hehe, that's rad, i love the pepsicola one, totally reminds me of this girl i know
Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.
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Old 10-03-2003, 01:10 PM   #27 (permalink)
Location: In Games.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
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Old 10-05-2003, 04:58 AM   #28 (permalink)
It wasnt me
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Location: Scotland
Excellent stuff! Thanks.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten
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allowed, americans, travel

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