forgotten_dream

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

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"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."

krazykemist

Excellent. And way cheaper than the blue pill also

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"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -- Tolstoy

Midlandmadman

this was cute.... hahaha good joke

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Its good to be back.

tekaweni

I like this one! Very funny, thanks.

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

Root_Beer_Man

lol funny....gotta tell that one at work

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>3 Cheers for boobies!!<

soccerchamp76

Great joke, also heard it in the form of a science fair project.

something like this:
Dad hears banging on the wall in the basement and asks his son what he is doing. The son says he is working on a science fair project. The son makes a bet with the dad about whether or not he can nail a worm into the wall. The dad says he will give his son his BMW if he can. Sure enough, he does, using his project. Then the father asks to borrow the magic stuff. The son sees a Ferrari in the driveway and asks whose it is. The father says its his, his mom bought it from him. Something to the extent of that.....

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Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department.
Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity.

Tarn

hehehe good one.

Keg-o-Grog

meh

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I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

Arachnid

Excellent stuff

thanks for the laffs

Cheers

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Cheers

RemyLebeau97

Great one, thanks for sharing

gloveshot3

what brand of hairspray was that, i could use a can!

txgirl

WAY cheeper than that little blue pill!

SofaKing

Excellent! took me a minute to get it, but funny non the less. Wouldn't hairspray burn? I know it does when it touches an open wound.

iktoweya

good stuff

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i miss K-Wise

skaterpunk

hell ya

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"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better. This is all the stuff the Mommy used to tell him. She used to say, "The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight." Caged inside too many laws. By intangibles, she meant the Internet, movies, music, stories, art, rumors, computer programs, anything that isn't real. Virtual realities. Make-believe stuff. The culture. The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only the intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die."

weasel519

Oh man thats funny!