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Old 04-28-2003, 02:20 AM   #1 (permalink)
forgotten_dream's Avatar
Jedi Redneck

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi Warrior If:

You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock-thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land speeder.
You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks like a little sissy in that vest.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them Yankees."
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow just "ain't right."
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."
forgotten_dream is offline  
Old 04-28-2003, 04:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
Sounds like you know the Jedi warriors around here very well. Thanks for the laugh!
goodness81 is offline  
Old 04-28-2003, 08:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
pinche vato
warrrreagl's Avatar
Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
Dang, bubba. How'd they know?
Living is easy with eyes closed.
warrrreagl is offline  
Old 04-28-2003, 10:51 AM   #4 (permalink)
Location: Sweden
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. - Psalms 137:9
Nad Adam is offline  
Old 04-28-2003, 09:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
Location: Louisiana
You put an add on the holo net

"Looking for a cute biped female.. with speeder.. send pic of speeder"

You think jabba hutt is a new pizza joint

You use jedi powers to lift all the broken down speeder bikes and speeders so you can finally mow your yard

You have one wall for your den made up of storm trooper helms

Boba Fett is known by his less name of Bubba Jet

You put a spoiler on your TIE fighter... it servers no purpose but to look great through space.

Even wookies look down on your table manners

you use the jedi training orbs to zap bugs on your front porch

You use thermal detonators fishing
It means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resoultely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It is the law a war wizard lives by, or he dies.
Drider_it is offline  
Old 04-28-2003, 10:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
Location: Houston, Tx
lol, I know star wars geeks that are rednecks, I can see this as the way they envision the series,heh
Darklight Adept is offline  
Old 04-29-2003, 04:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
Seen it before, good stuff.
RaZ is offline  
Old 04-29-2003, 06:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
Location: Up my ass
As if the Grand Imperial Jedi Council would allow such people into their ranks.

I'm kidding. Good post.
Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay.

-The Long Kiss Goodnight_
Hycdubg is offline  

jedi, redneck

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