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Old 04-28-2003, 08:43 AM   #1 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
warrrreagl's Avatar
 
Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
Queen's English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgraseful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor truble or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
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Old 04-28-2003, 08:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
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umm........
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Old 04-28-2003, 09:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
Delicious
 
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ya know.. thats the way all languages should be taught. Very easy to understand

hahah good joke.
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Old 04-28-2003, 11:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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no german, they will find a way to sneak it in.
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Old 04-28-2003, 07:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: under a rock
very funny.
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Old 04-29-2003, 08:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Boone, NC
somehow reminds me newspeak.... good idea for a joke someone had though
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Old 04-29-2003, 08:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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One of the best jokes in a long time...=)
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Old 05-04-2003, 01:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto
I really do believe that there should be one master language for all the world. Not that I'm a nazi or something.
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Old 05-04-2003, 03:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
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Location: Wisconsin
Mmm...Nazi good...oh wait...did I say that out loud? Crap. Anyways, yes, a master language would be nice. So long as it's some southern drawl or sumtin' like dat.
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Old 05-04-2003, 04:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: RI
Heh, I remember something like this awhile ago about learning chinese this way, good joke though.
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Old 05-04-2003, 04:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Pullman, WA
Started to sound like the way a few people I know actually speak.
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Old 05-04-2003, 07:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Following the light...
Reminds me of a professor I had last semester. He was from Europe and all his 'th' words were pronouced with 'z'.
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Old 05-04-2003, 07:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Between the darkness and the light.
lets just forego the whole process and learn german
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:30 AM   #14 (permalink)
Insane
 
zonds gud to me -- a vew zmal sakrifises to the englich iz a fair trad to kep uz from spaching german. Vait, zis sonds a lot lich german eh?
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Old 05-05-2003, 10:45 AM   #15 (permalink)
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heh heh. Sneaky germans! >_<
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Old 05-05-2003, 06:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: British Columbia
I jost had an email vis dat same sing, it vos very amusink
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Old 05-05-2003, 07:00 PM   #17 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Montreal
Heh heh, clever one, thanks!
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Old 05-07-2003, 12:52 PM   #18 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: SWLA
ziss izz vondurfull..
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Old 05-07-2003, 12:56 PM   #19 (permalink)
Tilted
 
very clever i like it
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