I Want A Raise
 

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative--you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

:lol: That caught me off guard! Great joke!

That was a funny one.... Thanks man you've made my day :) hey if you look at my quote you will find that i have a penis joke too.... lol

weeee. :D

Hilarious!

Now that is precious. Too bad this is a template on which most supervisors (usually less educated and receive more pay that their team) will use to deny raises. I look forward to seeing this as the new company "you don't get a raise because" schtick. Nevertheless, this was SUPERB!!

~tommy

suspicious looking bags.

lol.

Great stuff, seriously good joke!

the guy who think of this joke is really really gosh darn clever...i applaud you!!

hrhrhrrhheehhehehe... good one!

Oh man, the pair of suspicious looking bags threw me off guard. i love it. Thanks for sharing

Very funny & clever! Thanks

thats a good one

Hahaha that's my favorite.

Geat joke!

sounds like a lot of management/labor disputes

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

Oh no thats me. wahhaahahaha

Very clever and well thought out

Saw that one a while ago. Still funny to read it again though. Thanks for posting it.

that was creative. I like it

I have just returned home from a course studying employment law, I would have taken this with me had I known about it. Would have made a great case study!

the last one gave me a chuckle.

Never really of the penis' work in that way before. Very funny

funny stuff there u say

hehe funny esp. the last one

hehehe. good ones.

Funny stuff thanks!

lol this one is being saved to my archives!

Ha ha... very funny, I got a good laugh out of it.

hehe... that's a good one