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Old 02-06-2004, 10:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
Drifting
 
amonkie's Avatar
 
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Location: Windy City
Application for Minnesota Citizenship

Being of MN descent, I got laughs out of this, I'm sure it can apply to other Midwest states as well. Enjoy!

Application for Minnesota Citzenship

Anyone reading this who is from MN will get a kick out of it and anyone reading this who is not from MN will understand their Minnesotan friend a little better afterwards. Don't miss a line, it's funny.

Application for Minnesotazenship Personal Information:
Name ___________________son
Sex: _____ Ole _____ Lena
Home Address______________________________________________
Cabin Address______________________________________________
Religion: _____ Lutheran ______ Catholic
Income: _____We do OK _____We're Blessed _____ None of your beeswax
Qualifications: (check all that apply)
___ I own a gas powered ice auger.
___ Fargo floods hit a little close to home.
___ I can name a dozen celebrities who've stayed at the Mayo
___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow.
___ My grandmother made me eat lutefisk.
___ I liked it!
___ I've been to a block party.
___ My first beer was an Old Milwaukee.
___ My snowmobile has more miles on it than my car.
___ Despite what everyone else says I DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT! (For sure, you bet I don't.)

True/ False:
___ I actually listen to telemarketers.
___ "Have a Nice Day" is an ORDER!
___ TV news anchors are celebrities.
___ Part of my tongue is on a flagpole somewhere.
___ It's not a rubber binder! It's a rubber band.
___ They mistake pop for "soda" or "coke" in most other states.
___ Hot Dish is neither a beautiful woman nor an overheated plate.
___ Paw is both a hand and the male parent.

Multiple Choice:
It's time to wear a hat when.
A) The temperature is below 10 degrees.
B) Your mother tells you to!
C) The temperature is -10 and the wind chill is in double digits.

Essay Questions:
1 . What "uff-da" means to me____________________________________
2. What "oopsy daisy" means to me_____________________________

You know you're from Minnesota when.....
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.
2. "Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a blizzard,without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye, and Leinenkugels.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time, in the winter.
13. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel p.j.'s.
16.You know all four seasons; almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop to talk to everyone in town.
18. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Minnesota.
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Old 02-06-2004, 02:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
wouldn't mind being a ninja.
 
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Location: Maine, the Other White State.
Hm. I think Maine and Minnesota are kindred spirits =D (I'm originally from Maine)

Very funny list.
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Old 02-14-2004, 09:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: PacNW
What's lutefisk?
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Old 02-15-2004, 03:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
Drifting
 
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Location: Windy City
Lutefisk is a cod fish from norway that gets soaked in Lard for forever, then drenched in butter to make it appear edible.

If you want more info, check this site out:

http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~atman/ic/lutefisk.html
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Old 02-15-2004, 06:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
SiN
strangelove
 
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Location: ...more here than there...
Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
Lutefisk is a cod fish from norway that gets soaked in Lard..
It gets soaked in Lye, not lard.

Lye, as in, drain opener

anyways, funny thread, ima gonna have to send it to my mom.

(me == from MN)
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Old 02-16-2004, 10:39 AM   #6 (permalink)
plays well with others
 
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Location: Canada
hahaha... love #5
Quote:
5. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
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Old 02-16-2004, 01:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Re: Application for Minnesota Citizenship

Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie

___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow.
Three feet and still falling; no lie.

It's a tad nippy out there today. I'm looking
forward to summer. The wife says if it falls
on a Sunday this year we should have a picnic.
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