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Old 03-21-2004, 08:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
I am the anomaly.
 
Location: Motown
Geek Light Bulb Jokes

How many Unix sysadmins does it take to change a light bulb?
- One to hold it, and the world revolves around him.

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How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
- One to run the wizard, or call support if there's no wizard.


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How many Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?
- Let's hope there are some Apple Light Bulbs available or you're out of luck.


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How many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?
- One to recompile the kernel and rpm the bulb, 10,000 to whine about how windows light bulb wizards are ruining computing for everyone, 1,000 to suggest that the new government light bulbs won't run on linux, and 5 MPAA attorneys to sue the guy who figured out how light bulb threads work.


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How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb ?

None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.


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Q: How many technical support personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? OK. Now, exactly how dark is it? OK. There could be four or five things wrong... Have you tried the light switch?


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Old 03-21-2004, 10:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio! yay!
Quote:
Have you tried the light switch?
That'd be my first question...
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Old 03-21-2004, 05:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Those are too funny!
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Old 03-21-2004, 06:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Where the night things are
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb?
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Old 03-21-2004, 09:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
i hope im not the only one that didnt get half of those...?
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Old 03-21-2004, 09:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The only one I didn't get was the Nazarene one, but I don't know what that is.
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Old 03-26-2004, 09:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Central Coast CA
haha good one
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Old 03-26-2004, 10:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: in your imagination
these are funny. I suppose they're funny cause they're true.
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