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Old 04-24-2004, 03:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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GOP Hypocrite of the Week: L. Paul Bremer

Again, buzzflash.com with a great editorial. When a site like Buzzflash counts 28 hypocrisies in your administration, you know you are in trouble.

Quote:
GOP Hypocrite of the Week: L. Paul Bremer

A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL

Listen to the GOPHOTW HERE.

Welcome back to the BuzzFlash.com GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

You may not recall that Iraqis are now on their second American Proconsul ruler. The first one selected by the Cheney/Rumsfeld shadow government was retired general Jay Garner.

But apparently, George W. Bush didn't like that Garner made inappropriately dressed forays into the rabble of King George's Iraqi subjects -- sometimes Garner wore a short-sleeve shirt without a tie as he walked into staged photo-ops surrounded by a hired squad of mercenaries.

So George threw a hissy fit and called Colin Powell at the State Department, where appearances count for everything. The conversation must have gone something like this:

"Hey Colin, this Garner guy looks like one of my ranch hands. Get rid of him and find me a guy who looks like he's dressed up for a summer evening cocktail party at the Kennebunkport Country Club. We've got to give the natives over their somebody to look up to."

Powell, deeply appreciative of being back in the loop again, surely stepped up to the plate, "I know just the guy, L. Paul Bremer. He's a real sharp dresser and will say whatever you tell him to say, even if it is grossly hypocritical and doesn't make any sense."

To which George responded, "Colin, I knew I could count on you. That's the kind of man I'm looking for. You know this Garner guy, in addition to being a low class dresser, actually tells the truth -- and that worries me. We have our standards in this administration -- and there is absolutely no place for the truth."

And Bremer has definitely fulfilled Bush's expectations: In the name of democracy, Bremer has performed like a true Bush Cartel lackey and suppressed democracy. By most accounts, Bremer is credited with setting off the fire that lit Fallujah because he closed down a paper that he said was threatening democracy. You know how free speech can undermine democracy, don't you, Paul? That's what makes you George's kind of guy.

So, we're closing in on 700 American GIs killed in Iraq, thousands wounded, thousands of Iraqis killed and perhaps tens of thousands wounded. And that doesn't even include American civilians, including missionaries and mercenaries, who aren't are a part of the official Pentagon military body count.

But what does that all matter to L. Paul Bremer? He's a Bush success story: lie when you need to -- and lie when you don't need to, just to keep in practice; dress like you are going to a country club dinner party; look casually engaged among a squad of mercenary security guards armed with guns the size of howitzers; and consider every Iraqi -- except the paid and bought Chalabi clan -- an enemy of democracy.

That's why L. Paul Bremer is our 28th BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week. We thought the guy could use a little special honor, with this being the bloodiest month for our GIs in Iraq. You know it kind of ruins a good round of martinis when you have to sign off on a rush order of extra body bags. Doesn't it, Mr. Bremer?

Geez, the indignities some people have to endure.

By the way, what does the L. stand for anyway? Perhaps, Liar?

Until next week, just remember our motto at BuzzFlash.com: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.

A BUZZFLASH EDITORIAL
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Old 04-24-2004, 10:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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And exactly *why* would Bremer be a hypocrite? Because he is a sharp dresser? Or because this "reporter" claims he is a liar, but fails to provide examples? Or would it be because he banned a newspaper calling for the death of all American invaders (free speech, sure, but also inciting violence).

Perhaps the new Buzzflash motto should be: so many claims of hypocracy, so little evidence.
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Old 04-24-2004, 10:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Buzzflash is a wholly owned subsidiary of theonion.com
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Old 04-24-2004, 10:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
dressed forays into the rabble of King George's Iraqi subjects
Quote:
he walked into staged photo-ops surrounded by a hired squad of mercenaries.
Quote:
So George threw a hissy fit
Quote:
The conversation must have gone something like this:
I didnt even bother to read the rest of this post. Ever hear about a thing called Journalistic Integrity? I know it's a rare thing but most companies at least pretend to follow it. How can you try to pretend your argument is based on facts when your writing sounds like a 12 year olds account of a school dispute.
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Old 04-24-2004, 10:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Seaver
I didnt even bother to read the rest of this post. Ever hear about a thing called Journalistic Integrity? I know it's a rare thing but most companies at least pretend to follow it. How can you try to pretend your argument is based on facts when your writing sounds like a 12 year olds account of a school dispute.
You have no idea how much I'm giggling right now.
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Old 04-24-2004, 11:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by irateplatypus
Buzzflash is a wholly owned subsidiary of theonion.com
Hahaha there goes the credit of that article.
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Old 04-24-2004, 11:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
42, baby!
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by HarmlessRabbit
You have no idea how much I'm giggling right now.
The funniest part is that people can't see any difference between satire and real-life anti-war editorials. Kinda disturbing, isn't it?
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Old 04-24-2004, 11:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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If this was posted as a joke then it should be in tilted humor.
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Old 04-24-2004, 11:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Humor. So it has been written, so it shall be moved.
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Old 04-25-2004, 12:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
can't help but laugh
 
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lol, i didn't mean that literally...

i was sarcastically pointing fun at the article's poor quality and thought "man, if this were satire... it'd make a whole lot more sense."

but, i suppose that no matter the article's origins... the situation turned out to be humorous. welcome home buzzflash!
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If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill
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Old 04-25-2004, 12:44 AM   #11 (permalink)
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.....not sure I get the joke......maybe this thread just hasnt found its true home yet .....
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