Cervantes

A woman standing in line at the Post Office sees a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter, methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As each one is stamped, he takes out a perfume bottle, sprays them, and drops them down the mail slot.

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she asks him what he's doing. "Well," he says, "I'm sending out Valentines."

"Just how many women do you know?"

"Ummm, well, they're not from me, they're from 'A Secret Admirer.'"

"And why?" pursues the woman.

"It's my job," the guy mutters. "I'm a divorce attorney."

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- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

chewybaca96

haha

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Brian: “Ok, all we’ve gotta do is find the American Embassy, and they’ll help us get home”
Stewie: “Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog… Oh, you’re right here aren’t you? Oh well, I stand by it."

Slauncha Man

Bastard... that's a good idea!

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-Slauncha