Condom Instructions - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Racer · 01-27-2005, 06:36 PM

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty. She said, "Just a minute," and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?"
Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and pow, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

mojodragon · 01-27-2005, 07:02 PM

Sweet! Note to self...must try that!

MontanaXVI · 01-27-2005, 07:17 PM

I love it HAHA

SVT01Cobra · 01-27-2005, 07:24 PM

OMG, that is absolutely hilarious!

Chupes · 01-27-2005, 07:39 PM

Lol, my friend just told me this one like a day or two ago.

mordret · 01-28-2005, 08:31 AM

Excellent (and new) !

chateau_margaux · 01-29-2005, 07:10 AM

good one!!!!

TheHornDog · 01-29-2005, 01:32 PM

ha haha haaha hahaha

basmoq · 01-29-2005, 02:20 PM

that's awsome

doc · 01-30-2005, 10:49 PM

Hell funny!!
Could almost be a little Johnny joke!

Chuckles · 01-30-2005, 11:09 PM

hahahahaha good stuff

bbbbbb555 · 01-30-2005, 11:15 PM

hahaha
that was great

Sweetpea · 01-30-2005, 11:31 PM

Thanks for the laugh

monkey boy · 01-31-2005, 12:42 AM

good joke there.

wolf · 01-31-2005, 05:43 AM

that is great!

Hardknock · 01-31-2005, 09:34 AM

That was great!

ranger · 01-31-2005, 12:38 PM

LOL... my stomach hurts...

SirLance · 02-01-2005, 02:32 PM

Hysterical! A literalist after my own heart!

01-27-2005, 06:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
Racer Upright Location: Pensacola	Condom Instructions I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No." So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty. She said, "Just a minute," and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?" Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk. "Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and pow, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

01-27-2005, 07:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
MontanaXVI Junkie Location: Go A's!!!!	I love it HAHA __________________ Spank you very much

01-29-2005, 02:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
basmoq It's a girly girl! Location: OH, USA	that's awsome __________________ "There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."

01-30-2005, 11:31 PM	#13 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	Thanks for the laugh __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

01-31-2005, 05:43 AM	#15 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	that is great! __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

01-27-2005, 07:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
mojodragon Darth Mojo Location: Right behind you...	Sweet! Note to self...must try that!

01-27-2005, 07:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
SVT01Cobra Psycho Location: Somewhere, Missouri	OMG, that is absolutely hilarious!

01-27-2005, 07:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Chupes Tilted	Lol, my friend just told me this one like a day or two ago.

01-28-2005, 08:31 AM	#6 (permalink)
mordret Tilted Location: Metz, France	Excellent (and new) !

01-29-2005, 07:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
chateau_margaux Upright	good one!!!!

01-29-2005, 01:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
TheHornDog Upright	ha haha haaha hahaha

01-30-2005, 10:49 PM	#10 (permalink)
doc Tilted	Hell funny!! Could almost be a little Johnny joke!

01-30-2005, 11:09 PM	#11 (permalink)
Chuckles Insane Location: California	hahahahaha good stuff

01-30-2005, 11:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
bbbbbb555 Crazy Location: New Orleans	hahaha that was great

01-31-2005, 12:42 AM	#14 (permalink)
monkey boy Upright Location: Perth, Western Australia	good joke there.

02-01-2005, 02:32 PM	#18 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Hysterical! A literalist after my own heart! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

01-31-2005, 09:34 AM	#16 (permalink)
Hardknock Republican slayer Location: WA	That was great!

01-31-2005, 12:38 PM	#17 (permalink)
ranger Crazy Location: antioch IL	LOL... my stomach hurts...