i, the penis, deserve a raise - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

MiSo · 03-05-2005, 09:12 AM

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labour
* I work at great depths
* I am always using my head first
* I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Response from Human Resources

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas
* You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
* You don't always observe safety measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
* You don't like working double shifts
* You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!

Hanxter · 03-05-2005, 09:51 AM

rerun - already been done - ha ha

Ilow · 03-05-2005, 07:02 PM

true, its been done, but its been funny

carrot glace · 03-05-2005, 07:38 PM

seemed to be a good argument at first but, in the end the penis lost

03-05-2005, 09:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
MiSo Psycho	i, the penis, deserve a raise I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: * I do physical labour * I work at great depths * I am always using my head first * I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays * I work in a damp environment * I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation * I work in high temperatures * My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response from Human Resources After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: * You do not work 8 hours straight * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods * You do not always follow the orders of the management team * You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas * You take a lot of non-rostered breaks * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift * You don't always observe safety measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits * You don't like working double shifts * You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!

03-05-2005, 07:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	true, its been done, but its been funny __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

03-05-2005, 07:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
carrot glace Crazy Location: orange county	seemed to be a good argument at first but, in the end the penis lost __________________ "blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

03-05-2005, 09:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
Hanxter The Griffin	rerun - already been done - ha ha