A Burlar and Jesus - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

acostello · 04-06-2005, 02:51 AM

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

“Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."

Jackebear · 04-06-2005, 04:08 AM

That's not a bad joke.

SirLance · 04-06-2005, 02:51 PM

Interesting twist on an old classic. Thanks!

Acetylene · 04-07-2005, 05:42 PM

I'd name my next German Shepherd Jesus if I wasn't worried about burning in Hell :P

04-06-2005, 02:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
acostello Crazy	A Burlar and Jesus A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."

04-06-2005, 04:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jackebear Insane	That's not a bad joke. __________________ Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

04-06-2005, 02:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Interesting twist on an old classic. Thanks! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

04-07-2005, 05:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	I'd name my next German Shepherd Jesus if I wasn't worried about burning in Hell :P __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.