New element discovered! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Nunquam_Idem · 07-14-2005, 05:14 AM

A research institute has recently discovered what is believed to be the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

tenchi069 · 07-14-2005, 07:03 AM

Wow, I love it. That is going to the keeper folder.

guthmund · 07-14-2005, 01:02 PM

That's really funny.

My science geek friends will love that, thanks

bond007 · 07-14-2005, 02:24 PM

that's purty funny.... mmmm-hmmmm!

Cervantes · 07-15-2005, 05:09 AM

Haha! Awesome.. Thanx man!

genuinegirly · 07-15-2005, 07:48 AM

Now that is a well thought out joke. I like it.

bobophil · 07-15-2005, 09:00 AM

im going into Chemisty next year, im going to love telling that joke.

beautifully thought out, my hat is off to you.

SirLance · 07-15-2005, 10:55 AM

Oh, that's a keeper. I'll have to send that along. Thanks!

Nunquam_Idem · 07-15-2005, 11:11 AM

Was I supposed to mention that it was another email forward? I just made sure that no one else had posted it already and then pasted it in.

I only *wish* I was a creative enough writer to write things like that...

Glad you all like it though!

ARauckhorst · 07-15-2005, 09:59 PM

what a wonderful post.

07-14-2005, 05:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
Nunquam_Idem Tilted Location: On the 'Mostly Harmless' planet Earth	New element discovered! A research institute has recently discovered what is believed to be the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

07-14-2005, 07:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	Wow, I love it. That is going to the keeper folder. __________________ ERROR- PLBSAK Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

07-14-2005, 01:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	That's really funny. My science geek friends will love that, thanks __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

07-15-2005, 05:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
Cervantes Psycho Location: Above you	Haha! Awesome.. Thanx man! __________________ - "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

07-15-2005, 07:48 AM	#6 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Now that is a well thought out joke. I like it. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

07-14-2005, 02:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
bond007 Junkie Location: too far from Texas	that's purty funny.... mmmm-hmmmm!

07-15-2005, 09:00 AM	#7 (permalink)
bobophil Tilted	im going into Chemisty next year, im going to love telling that joke. beautifully thought out, my hat is off to you. __________________ Check and mate, now king me. -Homer

07-15-2005, 10:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Oh, that's a keeper. I'll have to send that along. Thanks! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

07-15-2005, 11:11 AM	#9 (permalink)
Nunquam_Idem Tilted Location: On the 'Mostly Harmless' planet Earth	Was I supposed to mention that it was another email forward? I just made sure that no one else had posted it already and then pasted it in. I only wish I was a creative enough writer to write things like that... Glad you all like it though!

07-15-2005, 09:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
ARauckhorst Upright Location: Ohio	what a wonderful post. __________________ Thanks for the killer game of Crisco Twister