KellyC

Two rednecks met in a bar and decided that they weren't going anywhere in life so thought they should go to college to get ahead. They hop in a pickup and drive to the nearest college. While the second one waits out in the hall, the first goes in to one of the rooms and finds a professor who advises him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" asked the first redneck.

The professor replied, "Let me give you an example: Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do," grinned the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued, "Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouts "AMAZIN'!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae... this is incredible!" (The redneck's catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," says the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of. I can't wait to take this here logic class."

The first redneck, grinning ear to ear with pride at the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend is waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" The friend asked.

"Math, History, and Logic," replies the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is Logic?" asked his new friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?"

"No," his friend replied.

"You're gay, aren't ya?

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

Siege

Haha, I liked that one

__________________
"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find