maleficent

anyone who works in or around IT will see a lot of truth in this one..
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T'was the night before crisis
And all through the house
Not a program was working
Not even a mouse

Programmers were wrung out
Too mindless to care
Knowing chances of cut over
Hadn't a prayer

The users were nestled
All snug in their beds
While visions of inquiries
Danced in their heads

When out in the lobby
There arose such a clatter
That I sprang from my cube
To see what was the matter

And what to my wondering
Eyes should appear
But a super programmer
Oblivious to fear

More rapid than eagles
Her programs they came
And she whistled and shouted
And called them by name

On upgrade! On Add-on!
On inquiry! On delete!
On batch jobs! On closing!
On functions complete!

Her eyes were glazed over
Her finders were lean
From weekends and nights
Spent in front of a screen

A wink of her eye
And a twist of her head
Soon taught me to know
I had nothing to dread.

She spoke not a word
But went straight to her work
Turning specs into code
Then she turned with a jerk

And laying her fingers
Upon the enter key
The system came up
And worked perfectly.

The updates updated
The deleted they deleted
The inquiries inquired
And the closing completed

She tested each whistle
She tested each bell
With nary an abend
And all had gone well

The system was finished
The tests were concluded
The client's last changes
Were even included!

And the client exclaimed
With a snarl and a taunt
It's just what I asked for
But it's not what I want!!

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and the last stanza is soooooo damn accurate....

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Acetylene

That last bit is accurate in every industry. How many times have I written an email for my boss only to have him spend more time telling me what's wrong thatn he would have spent writing the thing himself...

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There's no justice. There's just us.

Mantus

Good one Mal!

Oh it's so true Ace, I had a manager just like that, it's so silly. Just one of the reasons I left the office world for good

Brewmaniac

Very clever, thanks!

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

Stiltzkin

I love the fact that it was a woman. Where is this woman so I can marry her? <_<

maleficent

Pssst - I posted the joke - i can make the heroine any gender i choose

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