Krycheck

A friend of my daughter had this forwarded to me:

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement, lineage history and current medical report from
a doctor of my choosing.

Name_______________________________________ Date of Birth_______________

Height________ Weight_______ IQ__________ GPA_________

Social Security # __________________ Sunday School Attended __________________

Do you have one MALE and and FEMALE parent?______ If '"no," explain on the back.

Number of years parents married?___ Any brothers/sisters?_____ Are they normal?____

Do you own or have access to a van____, a truck wtth oversized tires___, a waterbed?___

Do you have an ear ring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ___ A tatoo?______

(If yes to any of these, discontinue application and leave premises immediately)

In 50 Words or Less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does the word "No" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, give your definition of "Real Pain."

Church you attend_____________________ How often do you attend? S, M, W, T, F, S

When would be a good time to interview your mother, father and minister?

Please fill in the blanks:

A) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ______

B) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ________________

C) A woman's place is in the _____________

D) The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ___________________________

E) When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice first is her _____________________

(If the answer in "E" involves a body part, leave the premises now keeping your head low,
and running in a serpentine fashion.)

F) What do you want to be IF you grow up?__________________________________

I swear that all of the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under
penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.

____________________________
Signature of Applicant

____________________________
Signature of Father

____________________________
Signature of Mother

____________________________
Signature of Minister

____________________________
Signature of State Representative

==========================
POLICE USE ONLY
Subcutaneous Electronic Tracking
Device Number
____________
==========================

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 - 6 weeks for processing. You will be
contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me;
I'll call you.

Since my daughter has a boyfriend aready....

APPLICATION DENIED

__________________

His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

cellophanedeity

hahaha, very cute.

I'm glad my dad's requests were simple:

Is he nice to you?
Do you like him?
Can he quote from Pulp Fiction?

itch vaccine

LOL @

F) What do you want to be IF you grow up?__________________________________

__________________
"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein

Charlatan

Shit... what if he doesn't like Tarrantino?

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Mantus

Then he is subject to death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.

ShaniFaye

mine would be can he quote from No Time For Sergeants

seriously, my mother has asked that of every guy I've ever had in my life

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

cellophanedeity

That's yet to happen...

Hopefully we won't need to go through another interview again though!

Charlatan

Good answer...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

vermin

"I'm P.L.O.: Permanent Latrine Orderly!"

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

BAMF

All these questions about curch, and none about drugs or jail.

Lebell

Bring in the Gimp.

__________________
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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SirLance

That is hysterical. It makes me think of the 8 rules! Very funny post!

__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.