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Old 12-05-2005, 08:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
Sultana ruined my evil persona
 
Krycheck's Avatar
 
Location: Los Angeles
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

A friend of my daughter had this forwarded to me:

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement, lineage history and current medical report from
a doctor of my choosing.

Name_______________________________________ Date of Birth_______________

Height________ Weight_______ IQ__________ GPA_________

Social Security # __________________ Sunday School Attended __________________

Do you have one MALE and and FEMALE parent?______ If '"no," explain on the back.

Number of years parents married?___ Any brothers/sisters?_____ Are they normal?____

Do you own or have access to a van____, a truck wtth oversized tires___, a waterbed?___

Do you have an ear ring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ___ A tatoo?______

(If yes to any of these, discontinue application and leave premises immediately)

In 50 Words or Less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does the word "No" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, give your definition of "Real Pain."

Church you attend_____________________ How often do you attend? S, M, W, T, F, S

When would be a good time to interview your mother, father and minister?

Please fill in the blanks:

A) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ______

B) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ________________

C) A woman's place is in the _____________

D) The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ___________________________

E) When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice first is her _____________________

(If the answer in "E" involves a body part, leave the premises now keeping your head low,
and running in a serpentine fashion.)

F) What do you want to be IF you grow up?__________________________________

I swear that all of the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under
penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.

____________________________
Signature of Applicant

____________________________
Signature of Father

____________________________
Signature of Mother

____________________________
Signature of Minister

____________________________
Signature of State Representative

==========================
POLICE USE ONLY
Subcutaneous Electronic Tracking
Device Number
____________
==========================

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 - 6 weeks for processing. You will be
contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me;
I'll call you.

Since my daughter has a boyfriend aready....

APPLICATION DENIED
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Old 12-05-2005, 08:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
Heliotrope
 
cellophanedeity's Avatar
 
Location: A warm room
hahaha, very cute.

I'm glad my dad's requests were simple:

Is he nice to you?
Do you like him?
Can he quote from Pulp Fiction?

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Old 12-06-2005, 06:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: on my spinning computer chair
LOL @

F) What do you want to be IF you grow up?__________________________________
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When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."

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Old 12-06-2005, 06:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Quote:
Originally Posted by cellophanedeity
hahaha, very cute.

I'm glad my dad's requests were simple:

Is he nice to you?
Do you like him?
Can he quote from Pulp Fiction?

Shit... what if he doesn't like Tarrantino?
__________________
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Old 12-06-2005, 08:03 AM   #5 (permalink)
lascivious
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
Shit... what if he doesn't like Tarrantino?
Then he is subject to death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
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Old 12-06-2005, 08:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
Quote:
Originally Posted by cellophanedeity
hahaha, very cute.

I'm glad my dad's requests were simple:

Is he nice to you?
Do you like him?
Can he quote from Pulp Fiction?


mine would be can he quote from No Time For Sergeants

seriously, my mother has asked that of every guy I've ever had in my life
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Old 12-06-2005, 09:37 AM   #7 (permalink)
Heliotrope
 
cellophanedeity's Avatar
 
Location: A warm room
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
Shit... what if he doesn't like Tarrantino?
That's yet to happen...

Hopefully we won't need to go through another interview again though!
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Old 12-06-2005, 09:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Quote:
Originally Posted by cellophanedeity
That's yet to happen...

Hopefully we won't need to go through another interview again though!
Good answer...
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Old 12-06-2005, 11:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
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Location: Tucson, AZ
Quote:
ShaniFaye:
mine would be can he quote from No Time For Sergeants
"I'm P.L.O.: Permanent Latrine Orderly!"
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Old 12-06-2005, 03:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
Crazy
 
All these questions about curch, and none about drugs or jail.
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Old 12-06-2005, 03:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
Cracking the Whip
 
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Location: Sexymama's arms...
Quote:
Originally Posted by cellophanedeity
Can he quote from Pulp Fiction?
Bring in the Gimp.
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Old 12-06-2005, 05:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
That is hysterical. It makes me think of the 8 rules! Very funny post!
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