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Old 10-16-2008, 09:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
clavus's Avatar
Location: NorCal
Cat-proof my toilet paper?

My cat declared jihad on my toilet paper. He freaking DESTROYS it with a fury.

For a while he only attacked the paper when it was on the dispenser. He left it alone if it was sitting atop the toilet tank. Now he knocks the rolls onto the floor and goes crazy on them.

It's not longer funny. It's pissing me off.

My wife hates the way industrial TP holder look. You know, the ones you see in fast food bathrooms. So is there a good-looking TP dispenser that encases most of the roll?

If this keeps up, I'm going to start wiping my ass with the cat.
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
Willravel's Avatar
It really is funny in the beginning.

I simply leave my bathroom doors closed at all times with Jack, my beagle. He has a curious streak that often leads him to trash cans or toilet water, and I won't abide that.
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
Lover - Protector - Teacher
Jinn's Avatar
Location: Seattle, WA
De-claw the cat in the front. Ours is. His back claws are sharp as fuck, but with blunted front claws he can't do that
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:55 AM   #4 (permalink)
PonyPotato's Avatar
Location: Ohio!
This is on the expensive side, but still less expensive (and less painful) than declawing the cat: Blomus 68592 - Tarro Wall-Mounted Toilet Paper Dispenser

From the review on that holder: "I love this because it covers the toilet paper.

This product is great if you have kids or cats to keep them from playing with the toilet paper."

p.s. many cats resort to peeing in random places after being declawed (a friend of mine had a cat wouldn't use the litterbox for months after being declawed) so you might just create more problems if you go that route.
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Last edited by PonyPotato; 10-16-2008 at 09:59 AM..
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Old 10-16-2008, 10:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
Leaning against the -Sun-
little_tippler's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: on the other side
+1 against the cruelty of declawing.

I just keep the cats out of the bathroom. It's easy to keep the door shut. But I guess you have kids so that might not work!

I like the look of merleniau's suggested toilet roll dispenser.

This would work if your cat only attacked the roll due to the loose end:

Toilet Paper Saver
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
clavus's Avatar
Location: NorCal
Declawing is not an option.

A $55 toilet paper cover? Grrr...

It might be cheaper to simply shoot the cat.
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
Husband of Seamaiden
Lucifer's Avatar
Location: Nova Scotia
or just get an older cat. ours can't be bothered with anything other than eating and sleeping.
I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
- Job 30:29

1123, 6536, 5321
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
Willravel's Avatar
Close the bathroom door! It's free!
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:23 AM   #9 (permalink)
Leto's Avatar
Location: The Danforth
i was going to say just close the door. But with kids, or just forgetting....

How about buying or making one of those really really nice crochet tp covers, and just put the roll on the back of your toilet tank... Not optimal, but workable.

Examples to quickly please the lady of the house:


Or you can be really inventive:

maki anybody?
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
clavus's Avatar
Location: NorCal
Originally Posted by Willravel View Post
Close the bathroom door! It's free!

You so funny.

It's a goddamn miracle if I get my kids to flush the toilet. Keep a door closed? puh-LEEZE!

Plus the litter box is in one of the bathrooms, and I'd rather not have a box of poop in a non-poop sanctioned room.

I want my old (dead) cat back. He was so cool. All he did was lay on laps and purr. He never fucked shit up. Which way to the Pet Semetary?
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
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Old 10-16-2008, 11:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
Willravel's Avatar
There's a way to fix that:
$10 each. Has your child ever opened the front door and walked outside without your knowing it. Our GE Magnetic Wireless Window/Door Alarms can prevent such a risk. Keep your children safely inside with our Wireless Door Alarm. When the door is opened the alarm emits a continuous 120 dB sound ( until the door is shut) to tell you that your child is at risk of leaving. Have a warning before your child goes out the door. If you have children, mount the door alarm up high on the door where they can not reach it.
WIRELESS DOOR ALARM - Magnetic Door/Window Alarm at MyPreciousKid.com

These things are $10 miracles.
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Old 10-16-2008, 12:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
I have eaten the slaw
inBOIL's Avatar
I've heard that spraying hot pepper oils on furniture keeps cats away, although using this on toilet paper may have tragic consequences.
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.
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Old 10-16-2008, 12:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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snowy's Avatar
Location: Oregon
Originally Posted by inBOIL View Post
I've heard that spraying hot pepper oils on furniture keeps cats away, although using this on toilet paper may have tragic consequences.
That seems like an appropriate answer to a dilemma posed by clavus.

And Leto, those crochet things would attract my cats. They would think it was a new toy.

clavus, is there any way you could just put the roll of tp in use in a cabinet near the toilet? Or in a receptacle the cat cannot get into? Keeping your TP in a baby wipe container might work.
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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Old 10-16-2008, 01:58 PM   #14 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Daniel_'s Avatar
Location: Southern England
Wipe your arse on the cat.

Job done, thank me later.
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

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Old 10-16-2008, 03:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
markd4life's Avatar
Location: South of the Donna-Dixon Line
Originally Posted by Daniel_ View Post
Wipe your arse on the cat.

Job done, thank me later.

Damn, beat me to it.....
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Old 10-16-2008, 04:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
ryfo's Avatar
Location: melbourne australia
Our cat kills toilet paper, kitchen towel and tissue boxes It is funny to watch but expensive in the long run
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:06 PM   #17 (permalink)
JStrider and I have never had this problem....one thing that might work is putting orange peels in and around the roll. Apparently cats don't like them. Or...maybe put the toilet paper under the sink...of course...then you might find yourself trapped on the toilet while the toilet paper is conveniently under the sink...
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:20 PM   #18 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
CinnamonGirl's Avatar
Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
Okay, I know you said it wasn't funny anymore... but I couldn't stop laughing

I like the idea of putting the toilet paper in a container of some sort... you don't have to spend a lot of money, and can still keep it away from kitty claws.
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
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Old 10-17-2008, 02:23 AM   #19 (permalink)
jewels's Avatar
Location: Central Central Florida
Originally Posted by onesnowyowl View Post
And Leto, those crochet things would attract my cats. They would think it was a new toy.
Anything and everything is a new toy for my cats, if you ask them.
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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Old 10-17-2008, 03:11 AM   #20 (permalink)
Une petite chou
noodle's Avatar
Location: With All Your Base
I had a friend once that hung it from the ceiling out of reach of the cat.
she even beaded the string.
it was hilarious, but quite effective.

we started spraying the cats with a water bottle every time they sniffed the toilet paper.
it only worked sometimes.

and, declawing is inhumane in my opinion.
they don't just remove the claws, they take off the whole first knuckle.
you try walking around on feet missing the first knuckle of each toe.
i clip our cats' nails weekly.
front and back on Little Shit and just front on Old Man.
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Last edited by noodle; 10-17-2008 at 03:15 AM..
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Old 10-17-2008, 03:26 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Plan9's Avatar
Originally Posted by clavus View Post
It might be cheaper to simply shoot the cat.
See the "Shotgun for Home Safety" thread to explore your options.
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
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Old 10-19-2008, 11:51 AM   #22 (permalink)
Kaimi's Avatar
Consider trimming the cats claws rather than declawing, try placing the tissue inside an empty coffee canister when done, use facial tissues instead of toilet tissue, or purchase a scratching post.
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Old 10-19-2008, 01:55 PM   #23 (permalink)
mixedsubstance's Avatar
Location: Where the wild things are.
Declaw the cat.
Find a way so that the cat can't get in the bathroom.
SCOLD him when he does that. Vinegar in his mouth or Cayenne Pepper on his nose will eventually do the trick.
If he doesn't have a scratching post, get him one- and train him to use ONLY that.
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

Last edited by mixedsubstance; 10-19-2008 at 01:59 PM..
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Old 10-19-2008, 04:04 PM   #24 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
genuinegirly's Avatar
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
I agree with your wife. Industrial = ugly. So is that stainless steel one, for what it's worth.
I'm not entirely convinced that your cat wouldn't be able to figure out an industrial dispenser, anyway.

I vote for keeping the TP in a box or cabinet.

I also vote for teaching your children how to flush, put the seat down, put the lid down, and close the bathroom door when they're done. Give them a sticker or something every time they get it right. Nasty bathroom habits will haunt them for the rest of their life. It won't bother them, but it will grate on the nerves of any appropriately-trained loved one.

Originally Posted by mixedsubstance View Post
Declaw the cat.
A declawed cat would be able to pull the paper off the roll just as easily.

Originally Posted by Kaimi View Post
...use facial tissues instead of toilet tissue...
Don't try this method if you have a septic system. Facial tissues do not break down as quickly and harmlessly as toilet paper.
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

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Last edited by genuinegirly; 10-19-2008 at 04:13 PM..
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Old 10-20-2008, 08:02 PM   #25 (permalink)
We just put the roll on a shelf in the bathroom. Works for us. With cats the dispenser is only used when we have company. Great video. Interesting to see how the roll ends up shredded. Its as I supspected, except in our case I think our cat is probably laughing.
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Old 10-20-2008, 09:47 PM   #26 (permalink)
But You'll Never Prove It.
ItWasMe's Avatar
Location: under your bed
If you don't mind Barbie tp holders, there are a couple on ebay for under $10. But a tupperware container (with lid) would work if you can teach your kids to put the lid back on. No tv for 2 days each time the cat gets the paper, the kids will catch on.


You can make this one out of a used cd holder, just cut a hole in the top...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

Last edited by ItWasMe; 10-20-2008 at 09:51 PM.. Reason: oops. they're Barbie, not Disney
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:21 AM   #27 (permalink)
Randerolf's Avatar
Location: ~
Make some crazy Pee Wee's playhouse contraption.
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Old 10-23-2008, 08:46 AM   #28 (permalink)
Do not declaw the cat! That is a horrible mutilating process which is akin to cutting off your fingernails at the knuckle.

My cat used to do this. I would just keep the door closed. Eventually he got bored of the tp and moved on to ruining our furniture. Unfortunately cats will do this sort of stuff, if you can't tolerate it then don't have a cat.

Finally you can always trim your cats claws. I do this every couple of weeks. The first few times you do it to your cat you will be freaked out and so will the cat but after you get more comfortable the cat will also and it will only take a few minutes.

We have also found that our cat hats sticking his claws in leather/polyurethane. So consider buying furniture of this type.
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Old 10-24-2008, 12:16 PM   #29 (permalink)
mixedsubstance's Avatar
Location: Where the wild things are.
I know declwing wouldn't help the tp thing, just less scratching. Contrary to many people's beliefs, it is not inhumane or cruel to a cat. I've had cats all my life, been in 3 years of 4H and studied felines and so I know that it is not like cutting off to the cuticles on a human- at all. I've actually been there in the process, and it's completely safe.

But there were some better ideas- putting the tp in a hard-to-reach area for the cat, but simply needing to break him of the habit.
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*
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Old 10-20-2009, 07:56 AM   #30 (permalink)
Originally Posted by Kaimi View Post
Consider trimming the cats claws rather than declawing, try placing the tissue inside an empty coffee canister when done, use facial tissues instead of toilet tissue, or purchase a scratching post.
I can see a couple of flaws in this:

#1 My cat is NOT declawed so I trim her nails weekly. I also have a problem with her destroying toilet paper rolls. So far my only solution is to place the roll up really high, which is getting annoying. I may purchase the stainless steel dispenser despite the cost.

#2 Using facial tissue in your toilet is VERY WRONG! You should never put anything in the toilet except toilet paper. It dissolves differently than facial tissue (which doesn't dissolve at all) which can cause your toilet to clog, so what money you could have spent on a dispenser is being spent on a plumber.
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Old 10-20-2009, 07:04 PM   #31 (permalink)
Skitto's Avatar
Location: Westernmost Continental U.S.
Simple, rub bag balm all around the paper-holder.
Yeah, well, you're just that awesome, I guess. It's not like I guessed so anyways.
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Old 10-23-2009, 09:36 PM   #32 (permalink)
Location: Wherever I am!
aluminum foil. believe it or not a couple of strageticly placed sheets of alumininum foil around will keep the cat away. They hate the sound of it, when it moves, scares the crap of them. And if its in the bathroom, its the perfect place for shit....
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Old 10-23-2009, 10:31 PM   #33 (permalink)
Sitting in a tree
Location: Atlanta
Have the front 2 legs of the cat amputated.

I had a cat who did this. It was just a game for him. So instead of having the roll properly on the dispenser, I just sat it on there vertically. I'd often walk in to find the roll on the floor. Sometimes with huge bite marks taken out of it. I'd just carry his fluff ball butt in there and scold him. After maybe 5-7 times of doing this, he stopped completely and I was able to hang the toilet paper rolls properly.

This thread's a year old but maybe others can pull some helpful advice from it.
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Old 10-24-2009, 01:30 PM   #34 (permalink)
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BadNick's Avatar
Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
get a dog to guard your bathroom

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Old 10-24-2009, 02:25 PM   #35 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
Plan9's Avatar
Toilet paper + cookie jar?
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
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Old 10-25-2009, 08:38 AM   #36 (permalink)
Very Insignificant Pawn
Location: Amsterdam, NL
As above. I was thinking you could try a large coffee can or soup can. Paint it.
One screw in bottom or two on a side to keep it in place.
Just place the roll in the can.
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Old 11-06-2009, 07:59 AM   #37 (permalink)
cave josh's Avatar
Location: Bakersfield, CA
Would hanging the toilet paper the other way help any? As in, have it roll down the backside (pun intended) rather than over the top.
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Old 11-06-2009, 08:59 AM   #38 (permalink)
FuglyStick's Avatar
Location: Southern Illinois
Designated toilet roll protector

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Old 11-06-2009, 02:03 PM   #39 (permalink)
FelixP's Avatar
Location: I'm up they see me I'm down.
Fortunately my cat doesn't do this. Could you maybe put it in a small shelf the cat can't get to, or possibly install a recessed TP holder. I have plaster and lathe walls with a recessed holder, and while I can't put bigger sized rolls in it, it does keep the cats from fucking with it (my sister's cats use to play with the TP at her house, but couldn't at mine.
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Old 02-14-2010, 07:19 AM   #40 (permalink)
My husband solved that problem in our house with an inexpensive tupperware type container that had a hinged lid. He used an x-acto knife and cut out a section of the bottom, slid it over the tp holder, double back taped it to the wall. Insert tp and snap close the "door". For $1.50 and a little time..problem solved.
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catproof, paper, toilet

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