Manners at the movies
 

What do you do when people are being loud, chatty, havent turned off their cell phones, etc?

What if its a kid?
What if its an adult?
What if its a kid with an adult?

Im curious how you deal with it.

Do you shush them?
Do you move?
Get a manager?
Are you patient?
Impatient?
Tolerant?

It amazes me how many people think that a public movie theater is just like their living room and the rules dont apply to them...and it sometimes doesnt occur to them that they were asked to please silence their phones and not talk during the feature film.

Kids need to be trained, but adults should know better. And yet...grrr.

What do yall do?

I grind my teeth and try to enjoy the movie. Any fight you instigate will only further distract you and others around you from it.

Lately, only one thing bothers me and it's people texting during the movie. Phone screen shines very brightly in a pitch black auditorium.

I've more or less stopped going to movies in the theater because of the rudeness of people. There's no way you can tell 10 people to shush or stop texting, and it seems to me that more and more people think that this sort of behavior during a movie is acceptable. If I go to the movies, I go to the independent theater, where people are polite, and the movies are cheaper.

I have been lucky not to experience rudeness in the theater.

Of course, I don't go to movies that kids go to so I don't have to deal with them. Also, I try to sit in the front of the upper section so I don't have to see the people in front of me and I can put my feet on the bar. When I watch a movie I'm engrossed in it if it's worth watching so I block everything else out. If it sucks, I welcome the distractions.

Although, I have ruined a few movies for people so I'm waiting for my karma to come around. Alcohol and teenage behavior...fun times.

Depends on the movie.

If I take my daughter to a Disney/Pixar movie I expect that it will be a little loud. In fact, that's part of the fun: kids enjoying themselves.

However, I don't take my daughter to anything but kids movies, so if I am at a movie that is not specifically geared for children then I expect the theater to be free of chatting or cellphone ringing. If it is not free of these things I will IMMEDIATELY get a manager.

The kids aren't the problem in my case--it's college students and teenagers. The movies with kids are actually better as far as rudeness goes than those that attract the college students and teenagers. I think that's why I prefer the independent theater--not many of them know about it.

My complaints with the management have been rewarded with free tickets for another movie.

cynth u always seem to get freebies..

was it a class action with a few others from the theatre?

i have no problems with people texting as long as the phone is on silent.

in saying that i dont like going to the movies.

Ive been known to move if someone/thing is bothering me.

My friend J is ubercomfy at movie theaters. He actually takes his shoes and socks off. No, he doesnt just slip them off in a subtle unaffective way. To my embarrassment (and delight sort of) he takes them off with gusto and spreads his toes with pleasure. I always say to him as he starts, "Are you taking your shoes off!? Dont do it!" But he always does. I like him anyway.

I generally give 2 opportunities to talk/phone ring. On #3, I take action. And it's not about indignation or entitlement, but rather taking charge of a problem effecting a group of strangers and myself when no one else will.
If the kid is alone or with other kids, I tell them to be quiet. If the kid is with parents, I give them a look.
"Please stop talking."

The problem comes when, instead of behaving like a respectful human being and taking the not-so-subtle hint, they become belligerent. On more than one occasion, I've had (and it's always a white male, between 16-23ish) someone talk back. The responses of "Fuck you, asshole" or they give me a look and then get louder generally gets me out of my chair.

Only once has it escalated to a physical level. I was watching 3:10 to Yuma (AWESOME movie), and the people behind us were talking like they were outside, continually, for about 15 minutes. I turned just to look at them (size them up) and one of them said "turn the fuck around" or something to that effect. I simply said, "Stop talking" and the idiot and his friends got out of their seats and started to approach me. I stood up to walk down the aisle and to walk out and one of them pushed me, as if we were in 7th grade and I had just insulted his mother.

Ch'i and I threw them out of the theater, in self defense.

As with shesus, I've been pretty fortunate in that I've not really had to deal with behavior rude enough to interrupt the movie for me. If it were to happen, I'd probably go with what LoganSnake says. Making it a bigger issue only ruins it for more people. I'd rather attempt to ignore it and if I couldn't I'd leave and complain to the manager like cynthetiq did.

Grab a bag of nibs and throw them at the bag of their head the whole movie..

if they are really annoying.. gummie bears.. lick them and throw them at their hair..

those bastards!

you couldnt do that where i grew up W.
you'd ultimately end up stabbed, shot or beaten by a dozen hoodlums...and im not exagerating. i lived in a rough n tough neighbourhood.

We were at the Century theaters in Santa Clara, which is a pretty safe area.

As soon as the guy pushed me, though, it was basically over. He lost his center of gravity so I grabbed him and Ch'i (being the friggin ninja that he is) already had the other guy before the first guy made contact. We were out of the theater in maybe 4-5 seconds. Had it appeared that things were going to get honestly rough (like what you described, yeesh), we would have simply left and gone to a later showing.

BTW, I am not telling anyone to do what I did. It was pretty stupid and really only worked because I went to high school with one of the guys who worked at the theater. If I had it to do over again, I would have simply spoken to the theater management.

Yeah, everyone has been a part of being rude/experienced other's rudeness. Recently (within the past few years) they actually started running "please be polite" shots before the film, my favorite being AMC's "The movie already has a soundtrack, please don't add yours". Being in theatre it annoys me because someone will say "Please turn your phone completely off as your signal will disrupt our wireless mics" and I have to lose my sound halfway through a song because Britney in the third row is getting a text from her 13 year old boyfriend with a magnum P.I. stash along the lines of "wha u up 2 gurrrll; I's chillin' and shit".

On the otherhand I used to go to the movies with a friend who would sit on the other side of the theatre and yell to us during the credits "Hey! Taylor! Is Ernest in this one?" "No, I don't think so Dan" "Ah Dammit!".

http://www.moviemanners.com/

I am a total bastard about theater experiences. I have a zero tolerance policy. If someone talks in the movie for more than 1 sentence then I ask them to please stop talking. If they laugh forcibly at emotional sad moments then I ask them to stop laughing. The last movie I watched had an older couple in their late 50s, possibly 60s sitting a row ahead of me. Anytime an emotional scene happened in the movie or anything of impact the man AND the woman would go, "Mmm mmm. Hmph. Mmm mmm mm." and shake their heads, just like they were in their fucking living room. Sorry but you're not watching a Lifetime movie here, this is a public theater.

There is NO excuse for being rude or loud in a theater. We paid money to see this shit ahead of time and you are quite literally taking my money for ruining the experience. Shut up or leave!!!!!!!!!!

It's difficult for me to physically intimidate anyone over the age of 12. I have a teenager, so believe me I've tried.

So I bring a bag of rubber bands. You have to be quick, sneaky, and appear innocent, or they'll know who shot them. All they need to know is

"BlaBlaBla" "THWAP!" "SHIT!" "BlaBlaBla" "THWAP!" "SHIT!"

It's like one of those electric shock collars for dogs
"BarkBarkBark" "ZAP!" "SHIT!" "BarkBarkBark" "ZAP!" "SHIT!"

They usually don't keep it up for long, though.

hehehehe ItWasMe - you're me hero.

I've only gotten frustrated with my husband's actions in a theatre. He likes to speak up loudly with his opinions when it comes to the previews. Once the feature starts, though, he's pretty well-behaved. Luckily I've never run into problems with complete strangers. I'd probably just move, and if they still bothered me I'd try to find someone in management to complain to.

Hehe, everyone loves to play preview critic.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I'm pretty easy going at the movies. They paid their money, just like me. As such, I can be pretty accommodating.

Not to say that there aren't times were people just irritate the everloving shit out of me. Fortunately, unlike poor ItWasMe, I'm a pretty intimidating looking fellow, so eye contact, a shake of the head and a simple, "Duuuuude" usually gets them to curb the offending behavior.

Rubber bands, though....nice. Just in time for the new Batman movie...

you are paying $9.75 ( in my area in the evenings) to do just that. go in a public place and watch a movie.

that is why I don't go. I just wait for the DVD since I don't HAVE TO watch it in that time frame.

If someone is loud or annoying, i just tell myself that, " I wasted $9.75 for this, because I do not want to wait to rent it and watch it in the comfort of my own home."

People will do what they want in public. if they are not being a direct harm to others, then let them do what they want.

I get annoyed by people that think we owe them something. you are grown and you know what you got yourself into. enough said. This does not mean that I am the one making the noise. but I respect the idea that I can't control others peoples actions. So if you dont like it, DONT GO. if you do want to go, then "man up" and ignore them. you go to watch the movie, not them. if they are being loud, drown them out. it is easy, people just think they are owed something.


it is not about respect or whatever. it is about taking responsibilities for your own actions. you know how movie theaters are, and yet you choose to HOPE that it wont happen in your certain movie? wake up. if it DOESNT happen, then call that luck.

just wait for DVD. it is much cheaper.

as far as the experience goes. well you will not miss out on anything.

Last movie I saw at a theater was Godzilla if that tells you how often I go. I hate the sound of people eating popcorn with their mouth open....oh and I am very cheap!

I forgot that I did go to see Superman about a year ago with a friend, she paid and it was spur of the moment with expiring free coupons.

People chatting during the movie is just wrong. I call that attention wal-mart shopper syndrome. Same type of people who think only they exist in the world, they stand in the middle of the isle while they decide "cheese in a can or cheese in tube" while you have to practically shove them aside to continue shopping....sorry end rant.

I like the idea. Unfortunately, my aim is poor. To employ such a strategy would lead to collateral damage.

Amen. I nearly dread going to the movies because if you choose to not pay $10.00 for popcorn and a drink, you have to listen to people smacking their mouths and the disgusting odor of popcorn buttered to the point of atmospheric saturation. It's incredibly annoying, it reminds me of how Howard Hughes freaks the fuck out in The Aviator when the paparazzi start snapping photos of him on the red carpet. Totally insane.

Also, I have little tolerance for people talking at the movies. If they chat a little bit, it's ok, everyone slips here and there. But if they chat the entire movie or laugh out loud at sad parts in the movie, I take immediate action. I'll probably get shot one day, but I swear by this: 95% of the people that are rude in public can't take the heat when you slip it back to them. I hate when people just bend over and take it in the ass - whether it be rude people at the theater, or any public place.

Reminds me of the last time I got truly pissed - me and my wife (then girlfriend) were watching a movie on campus back in college and these frat boys were purposely talking really loud and laughing hysterically at the sad parts of the movie we were watching. They would also critique the movie like Mystery Science Theater 3000. I put up with about 15 minutes of it before I turned around and just blurted out "SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. I DIDN'T PAY 7 DOLLARS TO HEAR YA'LL JACK YOURSELVES OFF BACK THERE, SHUT THE FUCK UP OR LEAVE"

They got up and left! The end.

Same thing happened at Target the other day - this damn lady went apeshit and bitched me out for no reason. The lady was checking out, and I stuck my 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dews on the conveyor belt - about 2 feet away from her stuff.
Her: "do you HAVE to put your stuff with mine??? he's going to get confused and charge me for the wrong item, that's so rude, just take your drinks and put them back in YOUR CART!"
Me: "what??"
Her: "our stuff is going to get mixed together!!!! take your stuff and put it BACK IN YOUR CART!!!"
Me: "I think the cashier can handle this. He can tell the difference between your stuff and mine. Plus, there is 2 feet in between my drinks and your toilet paper."

Then I placed one of those plastic separators in between our stuff -

Then she basically shouts "MOVE YOUR STUFF"

Sooooo I proceeded to shove all of my items into her shit and mix them together to where it was a jambalaya of Target items. The cashier held off a smirk and picked through the pile to ring up her total. She didn't say anything else and left immediately. Fucking bitch.......

You people with rubber bands are too nice. Get one of these
http://1stlinesecurity.com/wristrocket.html
And a pocketful of popcorn kernels. Hit just hard enough to get your point across but not hurt, don't aim for the face, and don't take your rage out on kids who are too young to know better (get their parents.)

Well, I have to admit, sometimes, I'm on of the guys you people hate. I have a habit of talking smack to the screen when hollywood fucks things up. Like when I saw vantage point. At the end when he is coming up on the armored van and changes his clip, I shouted at him to pull back his fucking slide and put a damn bullet in the fucking gun. He didn't listen. Sometimes, I'm also just feeling like a dick and MST3K things. That being said, I don't mind color commentary as long as it's at least mildly amusing. I fucking hate screaming kids in the movies though. Shit. Looks like it's going to be a few years untill i go to the theater again.

I always assess the situation. Sometimes I will politely ask someone to tone it down, sometimes I will sit on my legs to raise myself as high as I can so that I'm blocking their view, if they're behind me. I've ignored it, moved, and advised management but never got any free tickets. :( How'd you do that, cyn?

As for rubber bands, I'm no longer allowed to carry 'em. They've been declared lethal weapons in my hands.

Advice: don't sit where I can hit you with popcorn kernels.

lol. no worries. I can my lumps when I earn them. and it's not an all the time thing with me. just really bad movies like Ewwie Bowls last one. that one beged for it. and everyonr there thought we were more entertaining then the movie

Well.....that depends on the rating of the movie.

If it's a 'G' rating, I expect kids to be a bit noisy and I deal with it, or tell the parent politely to have the kid quit kicking my seat.

If it's a 'PG' or 'PG-13' rating, I'll speak to the kid or person directly.

If it's an 'R' rating and a person is bothering numerous people, I'll be a bit more forceful and a bit 'louder' and tell the person they need to be quiet.

If that doesn't work, I tell them to shut the fuck up or I'll have to get an usher to have them removed.

Seems to work with no problem.


You'd be amazed how many people just tolerate the asshole in the theater. I don't.

...and if it's an 'X' rating, you join in? :lol:

People are amazingly well-behaved at our local theatre. There's alot of eating noise and bags rustling prior to the movie, but after the previews, you could hear a pin drop. It may be because the theatre shows a "no noise please" trailer multiple times before the movie starts.

Ha ha, you paid to see an Uwe Boll movie.

He'll have to stop doing that when he's a father. It's called "responsibility".

You lucky Bastard!!! It costs us $12.50 to watch a movie ANY time of the day here! And kids movies are somewhere in the $9-10 range.

MSD that slingshot is awesome! I have to get me one of those.


now to answer the OP, I generally don't say anything unless its really bad. I don't feel like getting in a fight and that is generally how those things end up going down, people are assholes.

Movie here are cheap and the seating is better then any theater I've been to in the states. But the behavior is something I've had to get used to, cell phones, talking, flash photos... you freaking name it. I swear a young couple were having sex behind me the other day. At first it really bothered me, in fact I said I wouldn't be back. But I returned. I got used to it, meh, I don't even notice it much now.

I'm lucky to live in a place that has lots of independent theaters. Every once in a while a big movie comes out and I go to a big theater too see it opening night.. but that usually leads me to anger and rants about the theater.
I have never experienced any annoyances at an independent theater, except the time the Oregon DMV started giving out temporary licenses and mailing permanent ones. The theater didn't know that, so they wouldn't let my friend in because she didn't have a permanent license.
Last time I had an annoyance at a big theater (Regal Cinemas) an employee came and told the person to quiet down. Instead of quieting down he got louder and ruder, and after people around him started being vocal he threatened to beat them up. The theater didn't care though, they let him stay.

Do whatever is appropriate. If that's talking to the person and they don't respond, talk to the manager. If the manager doesn't care, ask for your money back. If they don't want to give your money back, call your credit card company and never go to that theater again.

Sling shots are good.

Years ago, not long after high school, a bunch of friends and I went down to the local porn theater. In the way back machine there were no dvd's or net. Anyway bunch of us were sitting around drinking, among other things, and decided as a group we go see whatever they were playing. There was about 8 of us, pretty even mix of guys and girls. Only one girl said "I'm not going in there." We went and bought squirt guns before the movie. At the first "dramatic" moment we started peppering the guys in front of us with the squirt guns. Never seen so many people leave a theater all at once.

Wal Mart, $10.

Sorry to hear the theater let that go on. I actually work for Regal right now, and at least at my theater we don't tolerate assholes. I've kicked out people before, and it's actually kinda fun. Big power rush :thumbsup:

Teenagers are usually the biggest problems, with college age people coming in second. My advice: first ask them politely, but sternly, to quiet down. If they persist, then go find an employee and voice your complaint. They should send someone in to tell the person to be quiet, and if not, demand your money back/passes. Since theaters don't make much money off of ticket sales, they are usually pretty willing to give out passes to make you happy. As long as there is a legitimate problem.

I used to work in the movie theater here in town and while the preferred method of dealing with disturbances is for you to come get a manager (we know it doesn't always happen, unfortunately) all of the staff would have approved wildly (but subtly) of this method. Usually the people who talk in movies are the people who are rude or inconsiderate to the staff when they purchase their tickets or concessions. :/

Yeah, I really can't say anything to that one..

No, I'll just have to save it for when the kid misbehaves.

*ItWasMe hands maudlinae a bag of rubber bands* If the door doesn't smack them on the way out, use these.

I still love MSD's idea of slingshotting popcorn kernels. Rubber bands are easy to find, to figure out what you were hit with. Popcorn kernels aren't, since they're probably eating popcorn.

A cattle prod is actually my first choice, but a bit difficult to hide without a trenchcoat.

I have an awesome mental picture of you in a trench coat with an electric goad hiding under, then sitting behind an asshole and zapping/stabbing him every time he is a jerk. Then when they turn around you do that whistling, eyes to the celling, innocent look thingy.

When I first starting dating my now wife, within a couple months we were in a theater and the first previews were running, her phone rings softly..OP!! she forgot to turn off her phone, woops...but then she answered it and began to talk.. my eyes bulged in shock, we received looks for those around us and I asked her quickly "what are you doing!"...she ended the conversation quickly and turned her phone to silent. I asked her later why she would answer her phone, and her answer "it was only previews" lol...so innocent, but that has now stopped as I explained how that was very rude. There is always something rude in a theater, always different when it's your lady!

My wife has the good fortune of being able to hyper focus, so any disturbances or rudeness in the theater go largely unnoticed by her, while I on the other hand seem to notice everything, and get distracted easily, so when a bright shiny phone is turned on to text 5+ times through the course of the movie, I do get agitated, but I live with it and adjust my sitting to block the light.

I kid with my wife all the time that we are going to use our formal room one day, get a nice 1080p projector, nice surround, some comfy seats and wait for the Blu-Ray to come out so we can watch movies in peace. Plus... 2 tickets + popcorn and a drink costs more then a Blu-Ray movie, so when we are done, we can sell the disc if it was so-so and have enjoyed a nice, uninterrupted high quality movie with popcorn and soda, for ~$10. ROI is a long long long time, but the peace and quiet is priceless.

Unfortunately, movie talkers are one of my big erks.

With talkers, I won't hesitate to turn around and sternly tell them to shut up.

Once with an ex girlfriend, she asked a group of teenagers behind us to please be quiet. Upon exiting the movie, we noticed that one of them had spit on the back of her shirt.

I ran through the lobby out to the parking lot before they left, and pulled the driver out the driver's side window. I'd rather not discuss the details from there as I'm not proud of it, but its the only legal trouble I've ever been in, and I'm very glad to have known several of the officers who arrived on the scene.

Bear Club! I just gained so much respect for you. I hate little fuckers who think they can do shit like that and get away with it. Pardon my harsh language but they just get my blood boiling.

I will now buy a bag of gummi bears for every movie theater I visit! Awesome suggestion!!

I have to say that I am thankful this was bumped or I would have missed this little gem that had me nearly falling out of my chair. Climactic scene with full-audience participation.

I have to say that for the most part I have been pretty lucky where I live as far as rudeness in theaters. I think the most trouble is a kid kicking the back of the seat which they generally stop when asked. I haven't had any real trouble with anyone talking or disrupting the film. I think that often they don't realize they are disruptive until you say something to them.

The question was about nuisance, not rudeness. They are different from each other.

As far as the nuisance part is concerned I had been on both sides. We during college use to go to theatres and create hell a lot of chorus, whistles and even dance during songs. We do that for the whole song if we liked the song, if it is a folk song with good music etc (in my country each movie on average has 5 songs). Also my friends pass comments for which even audience laugh. There were one instance when the theatre people walked in and asked us to be quiet. We became quiet.

As a citizen now when I watch movies with family, the same thing bothers me some times(Karma :) ). How ever I tolerate as much possible. After few instances I speak up very polite. But I dont know I never complain to the management.

Regarding rudeness, I am an animal. Theatre or where ever, I size up the people, the area, people with me, etc and act appropriately. The other day I scared the hell out of a guy trying to attract (disturbing) a malabar squirrel in zoo to take pictures.

Gawd, but this was a fun (and sometimes informative!) thread. Along MSD's popcorn kernel/slingshot idea... if I could alter the straw of a can of air so that either a popcorn kernel or a spitwad would fit snugly in one end, I'll bet that would make a great shooter. My can is kind of noisy, though.

I dont go very often anymore and when I do I dont go on any premiere weekends. If it is disruptive though I will complain to the manager after the flick and either be refunded or get free passees for next time.

For people who want something a bit better than the average theater experience, these have been highly recommended by various people

Montgomery Cinema & Drafthouse Movies, Music, Fun, Beer, Wine, Mixed Drinks, Comedy, Live Entertainment, Family Friendly
Arlington Cinema N Drafthouse Movies, Music, Fun, Beer, Wine, Mixed Drinks, Comedy, Live Entertainment, Family Friendly

and a separate chain

Alamo Drafthouse :: Main Page

the fact that there is an entire website devoted to explaining how to behave in a theater is, I think, a sad commentary on our society.

And yet we sat quietly during the midnight screenings of Rocky Horror.

If it were 10 years ago, I would be so tempted to repeat what you did.

I hope that your friend doesn't put his bare feet on the theater floor :shakehead:.