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Old 12-19-2008, 05:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Not so torn on where to move .... an irresponsible teenagers discussion

Hello TFpers. I am finally 21, yes, not a teenager, but as has been the usual in my life I have been influenced most by the things that I want **read "feel like I will die if I dont"** to do. I want to move to New York.

Yes folks, I have all the info armed. I searched everywhere on advice on how to start over. The finances, the unfamiliarity, even the thread that cynthetic had posted about an article about NYC being as cold as a bedpan and twice as shallow. (I've really wanted to use that phrase ever since I heard it) But people loved it anyway.

The implications of "being alone" while doing stuff such as are what disturb me so much seeing as I'm ...... well let's not get into that....

I come from a very fast city and I will tear my hair out if I have to keep on DRIVING to the grocery store, stopping for minutes on end at stop sighns!! Getting very little going on here is not fun for me. By the way, I'm in Cary, NC.

I like the job I have here but that's just entry level. I can get that anywhere. I also want to expand my horizons. I have past GED education and I can't afford college so I have to either pay for it myself or get a loan I will never pay off!! You see why I feel this would be a good idea??

So let's speak logistics, for the first couple of months I have at least 4 months rent in NC standards, which is like one months rent in NYC but I can do the VERY bare minimums before I get a job and first months pay.

I can also scrounge up at least 2 months living expenses like gas (I dont think will be a big factor), food, utils. I dont think it will take me this long to get a job at a fast food joint before I can really start looking for work, but contingencies must be laid down.

Err... I dont know what my question is by now, err.... what am I missing??? I dont have any doubts, I'm just open to criticism --- be harsh, I can take it --- and any suggestions whatsoever.
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Old 12-20-2008, 04:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Start applyng for jobs in NYC in your speciality, and see if you get any calls. That will give you an idea of your dream will work at this time.

Good luck and happy huning.

I spent 4 years in London at your age, an don't regret it for a moment. If anything, I wish I'd stayed there (I lived right in the centre).

I love the big city and feel at home there.
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Old 12-20-2008, 07:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I know you mentioned you considered the financial aspect, but I just want to add one thing. I recently heard on the radio that the cost of living in NYC is 90% more than in Chicago. I'm sure NYC is a better place to live than Chicago, but I doubt it's 90% better.

Good luck though. I'm a little older than you, but after college, I really want to relocate while I'm still young and single. Cheers!
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Old 12-20-2008, 08:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I'll say two things:

1) Unless you have a family who come from money, or a lot set aside, be prepared to be very very very poor. Living in parts of the city that people don't normally like to live in. In places that people shouldn't normally live in. But you get to be in New York.

2) If you are going to be poor, living in a Calcutta-esque apartment, now is the time to do it man.
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Old 12-20-2008, 08:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Ok - so you'd like to go back to school and you're 21. You'd like to live in a city. You're on the east coast already so it makes sense that the first big city you dream of is New York.

You're going to have to plan things out well if you don't want to get destroyed by NYC. Remember Hal is in NYC - read his blogs as well as Cyn's. Hal did something similar to what you want to do - he moved out there fairly impulsively with only a high school degree and has run into a few brick walls along the way - but of course he doesn't regret the move.


Here's what I want you to do: Think.

What about a city environment appeals to you?
Make a mental list.
Can you find all of these in another setting that will be less expensive than NYC?

If not, move.


But first - ask yourself if you're ready.

Since you have your GED, you should consider attending junior college. This is something you can start right now (classes start mid-January at most schools). With straight A's on a junior college transcript and an AA / AS degree, you can transfer to just about any university with ease.

By the time you're 23, you want to be ready to transfer to a university. Why? At age 23, you're considered completely independent of your parents for financial aid purposes. You're going to have grants and low-interest loans thrown at you left and right the minute you apply for them. These won't come from the federal government - they'll come from the school itself. Scout out universities that offer full tuition stipends plus a bit of cash for living expenses to low-income students. All University of California schools offer such a perk, including UC Berkeley, UC Los Angeles, UC Santa Barbara, UC Santa Cruz, UC Davis, UC San Diego, UC Riverside, UC Merced (it's called the UC Grant in Aid). Almost all reputable private schools offer such a perk: Harvard, Stanford, Yale, etc (if you can get in, they'll pay your way).

Be smart about this. You're a smart guy. I expect you to succeed at life.
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Old 12-20-2008, 09:24 AM   #6 (permalink)
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what is NC standards of rent?
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Old 12-20-2008, 09:39 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly View Post
Ok - so you'd like to go back to school and you're 21. You'd like to live in a city. You're on the east coast already so it makes sense that the first big city you dream of is New York.

You're going to have to plan things out well if you don't want to get destroyed by NYC. Remember Hal is in NYC - read his blogs as well as Cyn's. Hal did something similar to what you want to do - he moved out there fairly impulsively with only a high school degree and has run into a few brick walls along the way - but of course he doesn't regret the move.


Here's what I want you to do: Think.

What about a city environment appeals to you?
Make a mental list.
Can you find all of these in another setting that will be less expensive than NYC?

If not, move.


But first - ask yourself if you're ready.

Since you have your GED, you should consider attending junior college. This is something you can start right now (classes start mid-January at most schools). With straight A's on a junior college transcript and an AA / AS degree, you can transfer to just about any university with ease.

By the time you're 23, you want to be ready to transfer to a university. Why? At age 23, you're considered completely independent of your parents for financial aid purposes. You're going to have grants and low-interest loans thrown at you left and right the minute you apply for them. These won't come from the federal government - they'll come from the school itself. Scout out universities that offer full tuition stipends plus a bit of cash for living expenses to low-income students. All University of California schools offer such a perk, including UC Berkeley, UC Los Angeles, UC Santa Barbara, UC Santa Cruz, UC Davis, UC San Diego, UC Riverside, UC Merced (it's called the UC Grant in Aid). Almost all reputable private schools offer such a perk: Harvard, Stanford, Yale, etc (if you can get in, they'll pay your way).

Be smart about this. You're a smart guy. I expect you to succeed at life.
He will also be Pell Grant eligible at 23, depending on income. That's $6000 of free money from the federal government to go to college and get educated.

I think it's better to do as genuinegirly suggests and invest the $ you've saved up in an education. Yes, sometimes getting educated means a little debt, but I think you'll find it's less than you expect provided you use all of the financial aid resources available to you through the school, go to junior/community college first, and do well in school (potential for scholarships). Going to community college should allow you to be employed and go to school at the same time; I was able to handle 15-credit quarters with a 20-hour work week. Furthermore, in this economic crunch, you can choose to pursue a degree that will end up in a guaranteed career (and yes, those options are still out there, look at nursing/healthcare) when you graduate. Presumably you will end up in a job where you are comfortably able to pay your student loans.

Just don't make the same mistake I did--though I wouldn't trade my English degree for anything in the world, without a teaching certificate it's not really a great degree to have in my part of the world. So I'm going back to school. I'll be taking on some additional debt in the process, but I'll be getting a degree in early childhood education and development (along with that teaching certificate) that will give me the qualifications necessary to get a steady salaried job with benefits. According to my calculations, I'll be comfortably able to pay my own expenses--including the loans I had to take out to pay for the second degree--once I'm graduated.

And there's no reason you can't find a 4-year-school in an urban area when the time comes.
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Old 12-20-2008, 12:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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How much do you have saved so far? I don't know what NC standards are but the rent (along with everything else) is pretty pricey around here.

I'd count out living in Manhattan if you're strapped for cash and find yourself a job before moving.

Putting in a few months worth of research could be what makes the difference between loving it here and hating it.
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Old 12-20-2008, 02:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Damn punkmusicfan21, did you have to say "very" three times?? Well, yes to what you said, I plan on being poor for a while. Not long I hope, but I have to go to school which is, sadly, the convention not only in the USA but the rest of the world. Being a workaholic (Maybe cause I love my job) just doesn't cut it in the later years.

So, I have $7k in fast depleting savings because I moved out of my parents house and wanted to live alone so I pay $640 monthly rent. It's a nice apartment but I have always wanted to get the **** outta NC so I never furnished it at all which is a good thing. But defeats some of the purpose of living alone.

I owe $3k on my car and that's about all my debt. I get paid bi-weekly, one check covers rent, the other, other things. How have I made this much cash in just a year? Working without friends or socializing without having any vices can turn you into an introvert.

My savings are being depleted because I have started incurring adult charges. Not that guys, you know, I never knew, for instance, you had to pay taxes on things you already own, such as your car!! I always thought the money would just sit there ready to be used when summoned, but instead now that I'm "responsible" for myself, I have to pay for repairs, living costs, e.t.c......... Gosh, as a side note, cars ARE the worst investment EVER!!

So, Cynthetiq, what you pay for a crappy room in NY ranging from $800 - $1500 monthly can get you amazing results in NC, Raleigh for instance, If I wanted to live with a roommate, I would be paying a max of $500 with gym, sauna, swimming pool, all the good stuff. I just detest the speed of the city with all my heart!! Mind you getting the position I have at work was not easy.

Genuinegirly, yes, you summed me up in a nutshell pretty well, first city I did dream of was NYC. What about a city environment appeals to me, oh man, what doesn't..... the pollution, the taking a bus to wherever you wanna go without waiting an hour, the no sleeping, the meeting every single kind of human being there is in the same block........

People who live in NC think I'm nuts for wanting the exact opposite of a southern area and that's why I thought they think I'm like a teenager cause I'm just being "rebellious" but I grew up with these things in my vicinity. I want them back.

Now, the euphoria aside, I'm not going make these decisions based on how I feel. I have also considered Seattle and Houston which are great places to live but I chose NYC for the proximity to family, not like that's a big deal. I want to put myself into a situation where I can learn, and work, at the same time. I think a "big city" will do it. So my question now has changed........

Should I stay, like onesnowyowl says, go to school, then leave when the time comes. When I'm ready to transfer. Or go now, and learn along the way with potential for far more mistakes..... You see, the thing is, I really want to go to New York, it's a like Martian put it, "burning desire". But I'm not a teenager now, I feel it's right, but I have to know it right. I just need to weigh all the logistics, and I mean ALL of them.
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Old 12-21-2008, 08:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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heh. Snowy misunderstood a bit of what I said. Xerxys, I think you should be completely irresponsible and get to NYC before the next semester starts - attend community college in NYC starting this January. When you're ready for a move, there's no reason to stew about it - think it out, then move at the soonest possible opportunity. *shrug*


Just make sure you have lined yourself up for cheap rent.
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Old 12-22-2008, 01:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
can also scrounge up at least 2 months living expenses like gas (I dont think will be a big factor), food, utils. I dont think it will take me this long to get a job at a fast food joint before I can really start looking for work, but contingencies must be laid down.

Err... I dont know what my question is by now, err.... what am I missing??? I dont have any doubts, I'm just open to criticism --- be harsh, I can take it --- and any suggestions whatsoever.
Don't take a car to NYC. When I moved to Boston from Kansas I couldn't imagine living without a car. But I discovered that having a car in the central/inner city can be much more trouble than it is worth. I finally had a friend that lived in the suburbs who let me park my car in his back yard, but I would go weeks at a time without using the car. In my small town background, we always associated car = freedom. In a big city (especially if you don't have much money) car = albatross around neck.

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Old 12-22-2008, 02:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
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What is it about NYC makes you want to move there? I "lived there" for a few months when I was in my 20s -- until the money ran out and the dysfunction kicked into high gear.

I used quotes on "lived there" because really I lived on a bus with three other people and three dogs. I jumped on the bus with them in Missouri (figuratively, actually I took a train). I came back after it turned out that the band was so dysfunctional and I became such a mess that I didn't really know who I was anymore.

I'm of the opinion that if you have an impulsive streak you should do things like move to NYC when you are in your 20s. You'll probably regret it later in life if you don't. Throw caution to the wind. What have you go to lose? Money? Pfft.
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Old 12-24-2008, 08:53 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I'll tell you one thing, NYC is vastly different from the Raleigh, NC area. You might think of some other part of the RTP area or another part of NC. Atlanta is a big city with mass transit, as is Charlotte (although mass transit isn't so great there).

If all you have is a GED you will be working full time making next to nothing just to survive. That's after you get over the culture shock. And whatever you do, don't take a car there...parking could cost more than an apartment in NC.

To top it off, the economy is in shambles and getting a decent job will be even more difficult. You have some awesome schools right in your back yard. Why not get some school in while the economy recovers? NC Sate is right there (as is Wake Tech) and you could get a cheap college apartment and find out what a crappy apartment, going to school and working all at the same time are really like n a more affordable location.
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Old 12-24-2008, 09:07 AM   #14 (permalink)
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parking.... oy vey!!!!

I hate doing the alternate side parking shuffle. That's moving your car every other day except Wednesday. I pay $325 to park my car in an indoor lot. It is a very big luxury to have. It gives me more freedom to do things outside of the city and we try to take advantage of it.

I remember when I first moved here and insisted on getting a car right away even though I lived in NJ. Street parking in Manhattan is a pain in the ass, and its mostly metered during the day and free at 7pm. Paying to put it in a lot for the day? $15-$20 if you get there before 9AM.

Parking tickets????? $150.... getting towed????? OMFG you better bring LOTS of cash.

No HS Diploma? Hmmmmm it used to be that you could make it here without that, but I'm not so sure anymore since there isn't any more light industrial and factories.
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Old 12-25-2008, 12:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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My sister moved to NYC to "live the dream" and she is considering moving back. She moved there from Winston-Salem, which isn't anywhere near as nice as Cary, and she says that NYC is basically a gigantic shithole if you aren't rich.

Also, she pays $600 a month for a dump that has bed bugs and rats and roaches - and it's a studio, one-room apartment with THREE other room mates. The rent is $2400 a month for a one-room apartment in Brooklyn.

She says the novelty wears off very quick because you are so poor. In Cary (I'm sure you know this) you can get a sweet 1200 ft. 2-BR 1-BA apartment for <$1000 a month.
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:56 PM   #16 (permalink)
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My sister moved to NYC to "live the dream" and she is considering moving back. She moved there from Winston-Salem, which isn't anywhere near as nice as Cary, and she says that NYC is basically a gigantic shithole if you aren't rich.

Also, she pays $600 a month for a dump that has bed bugs and rats and roaches - and it's a studio, one-room apartment with THREE other room mates. The rent is $2400 a month for a one-room apartment in Brooklyn.

She says the novelty wears off very quick because you are so poor. In Cary (I'm sure you know this) you can get a sweet 1200 ft. 2-BR 1-BA apartment for <$1000 a month.
I blame that on the Sex In the City created the attitude and atmosphere from the show. I can't tell you how many girls I met who thought this very way... yet the girls I met in the early 90s were much more realistic.
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Old 12-30-2008, 10:24 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I blame that on the Sex In the City created the attitude and atmosphere from the show. I can't tell you how many girls I met who thought this very way... yet the girls I met in the early 90s were much more realistic.
The same can be said about LA. I've met people who moved to LA from the midwest in hopes of making it big and/or "live" it. LA is probably the west coast version of NYC.
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Old 12-30-2008, 01:43 PM   #18 (permalink)
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What is it about NYC makes you want to move there? I "lived there" for a few months when I was in my 20s -- until the money ran out and the dysfunction kicked into high gear.

I used quotes on "lived there" because really I lived on a bus with three other people and three dogs. I jumped on the bus with them in Missouri (figuratively, actually I took a train). I came back after it turned out that the band was so dysfunctional and I became such a mess that I didn't really know who I was anymore.

I'm of the opinion that if you have an impulsive streak you should do things like move to NYC when you are in your 20s. You'll probably regret it later in life if you don't. Throw caution to the wind. What have you go to lose? Money? Pfft.


i say 'fuck it' and do what vanblah said.

throw caution to the wind, at least you'll have something to tell your kids on how piss poor you were when you lived in NYC.

if it works out it works out..if not, its not a huge sum of money that you would have lost. just dont go spending it just on booze and women, because it wont go too far
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