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Old 04-20-2009, 05:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Icebreakers for a shy girl?

I was wondering if any of you had any tips to break the ice, or better yet to help bring out a more open side to a shy girl.

The back story to this:

There is a girl in one of my classes that I have had quite a liking for the past few weeks. Long story short, I finally found the guts to talk to her, which led to us hanging out for a night. She isn't from the U.S., and she hasn't been many places the last year or so, so I decided to take her out and show her some spots around the city. We walked, we talked, we ate, we laughed, etc etc, but the entire time she was extremely quite and reserved. When I talked to her about this, she told me that she is pretty shy, and when asked if she saw it as a problem, she said yes. I was wondering if you had any tips for me, any conversation starters, anything I can do or say to help her be more open, and to help increase the flow of communication between us. Any icebreakers or topics are fine, just things in general that will help a person be more open and help keep a conversation going.
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Old 04-20-2009, 06:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Southern Illinois
Sounds like you're doing everything right. With someone reserved, you may have to venture into the territory that you would normally avoid, talking about yourself. It's a fine line--you don't want to appear to be self absorbed--but hit your likes and hobbies, see if you can't find the topic she feels strongly enough about to open up to you.

And there's the possibility she won't open up. Then you'll have to decide how badly you want to pursue it.
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Old 04-20-2009, 10:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Well, I guess if I may ask a more specific question, what are some topics that can help keep a conversation going, or at the least help me explore her personality and background better, short of asking it bluntly? What are some comedic approaches?
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Old 04-21-2009, 02:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Ohio! yay!
you said she wasn't from the US, where is she from? Learn a bit of her native language and butcher it badly, this will get her laughing and she will help you out with pronunciation ask her to teach you some of the dirty words. Find a restaurant that serves food from her home country, perhaps she will open up a bit when she feels more at home and relaxed.

Also, tell her she as pretty eyes, I hear girls like that.
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Old 04-21-2009, 06:51 AM   #5 (permalink)
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haha she's from Ireland. I don't know how well I can butcher that accent. Plus, what context did you have in mind that would prevent it from being seemed as offensive?

Pretty eyes. She sure does.
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:27 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeneralMao View Post
haha she's from Ireland. I don't know how well I can butcher that accent. Plus, what context did you have in mind that would prevent it from being seemed as offensive?

Pretty eyes. She sure does.

Maybe she speaks Gaelic - that would impress her!
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Old 04-22-2009, 11:55 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I personally like the t-shirt I saw in a movie a few years back. The front say "Hey there good lookin'." and the back said "Fancy a fuck?"
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Old 04-22-2009, 12:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: UK
+


Seriously, just keep at it... not too keenly of course. And find stuff that doesn't require lots of talking, or something that you guys can talk about... watch a movie, gallery, museum etc. Once she's more relaxed around you she'll open up.
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Last edited by nomcat; 04-22-2009 at 01:02 PM..
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Old 04-22-2009, 02:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nomcat View Post
+

Nomcat, if you were female, you'd have just advanced to third base at least.
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I think people tend to be more shy when they are 'out of their element' and more confident when they are in a position of knowledge or power, however minor and arbitrary. What activities does she like to do? Is there a game she is good at? ask her to teach you how to play. is she an art lover? Have her guide you through a museum. Does she like to cook? ask her to teach you how to make scrambled eggs. If she is also physically shy, and things progress well, having her teach you how to ice skate/roller blade/dance/golf/whatever can be a great way to initiate physical flirting, since she'll need to hold your hand/help you off the ground/whatever.
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