amire

Hey everyone,

I'm a college student who will be going to graduate school next fall. From what I've heard, most people at my intended school do not like living on campus. So I have been searching for a place to rent off-campus.

The problem is that the most economical way to rent, it seems, is to get some friends together and rent a house. The good news is that one of my best friends from undergrad will be going to the same grad school as I, so we might be able to find a small house to rent. However, he has a girlfriend who will probably be coming with him. This means that all three of us would share a two-bedroom house. We're unsure whether living together would be a good idea.

So my question is: have any of you tried a living arrangement such as this? Is it generally a bad idea for a single guy to room with a couple?

Bear Cub

As long as you don't mind banging on the walls, shouldn't be a problem.

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Charlatan

My wife and I had a roommate for a year or so when we were (much) younger. I don't think we ever had a problem with it. In fact, that was the apartment where we conceived our first child (not sure if that is a selling point or not )

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KirStang

Depends. Are any of the possible roomates annoying?

Roomate #1 had a girlfriend who basically lived there. She was awesome. Kept to herself, cleaned up the place, good roomate all around. No problems. Just slap on the head phones if there was any headboard-noise.

Roomate #2 had a girlfriend who was always over. I. hated. her. LOUD. ANNOYING. IMMATURE. Ugh. Could NOT stand them. And their f*cking cuddling on MY couch. Breaking MY chair (I had no idea how the fuck the two of them broke the chair I lent them, although I have my suspicions.) They also took showers together in our shared restroom (They were *NOT* discreet about that. That....was just...weird..).

Every fucking time she was over she'd wake me up because she had no idea how damn loud she was.

So, take in to account their personalities before pulling the trigger. Hope this helps bud.

**ETA:**

In your potential future domicile, you'll also want to consider how the place is structured. Is the room made with two separate wings? Are the restrooms shared? Are you comfortable with them showering together in a shared restroom? Can you store your stuff in separate places? Furniture considerations? Is your friend good on washing his/her dishes?

cadre

I don't think the fact that it's a couple should make a difference. I mean, of course you need to consider if each is a good roommate on their own though.

As a couple, my boyfriend and I lived with a single guy. We didn't have any problems with it but it was hard for us to find a roommate. As far as I know, our roommate didn't have any issues.

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PonyPotato

What I would be more concerned about is whether they're going to stay together, or whether the lease will be broken a few months in because they can't stand living together.

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The_Jazz

If you like both of them well enough to live with them, you'll be fine. If you don't like one of them, find another solution. Seriously, it's as simple as that. If the girlfriend annoys you now, she's most likely not going to get on your nerves any less when you're together more often. I'd think long and hard about that, then make your decision.

But if you're cool with both of them, them being together shouldn't be much of an issue since I suspect that's probably how you see them already.

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stevie667

As said, if one of them annoys you, it'll go badly. Their arguments will become your arguments and it can all go pear shaped very quickly.

Avoid it if you can, otherwise just make sure your good friends.

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braisler

My wife and I had a couple of rented out rooms in our four bedroom house when we were first married. It wasn't a big deal for us. We were all in grad school in different disciplines. It was kind of nice in that it was like having built-in friends.

It was easier for us because the renters had their own bathroom.

As was mentioned before, I'd be wary of a potential breakup separating the couple and your agreed on lease. Also talk through before hand who pays for what. They may have the idea that they'll pay half the rent since they are only occupying 1 of the 2 bedrooms. Sounds silly, but I've seen it before.

dlish

i'd never live with a friend. i know i'll end up rubbing them up the wrong way or vice versa, so id rather room with a stranger. that way if you dont want to talk to them, you just dont.

i wouldnt jeopordize my friendships for the sake of saving a few dollars

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amire

Wow, thanks for all the input. This makes me feel at ease. To answer some previous posters' questions, I do like both people. I lived with the guy one year without any significant problems, and his girlfriend has been a constant presence when we hang out. She doesn't have any annoying habits as far as I can tell. Both of them are relatively neat and tidy. They are pretty serious: they've been dating for 5 years and have lived together the last 2, so I doubt they will break up.

Excellent! Thanks again for your comments.

genuinegirly

Living with friends is a great experience.

When we lived in a huge house with 40 friends, it was way more fun than when we lived in a small apartment with one friend. More people to cook food and to distribute chores among. You also get numb to the number of people around when there are 40 - you develop more of an "anything goes" attitude - more accepting of others' personalities, destructive hobbies, and quirks.

Our sex life was significantly reduced in the small apartment scenario because Tt refused to have sex when our room-mate was home, or when the roomie might come home. Then again, the walls were much thicker in the house than they were in the apartment.

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ratbastid

*queues up the porn music...*

snowy

My SO and I have two roommates. One of them is a guy that my SO was friends with before he met me, and when word reached us that this guy was looking for people to move into the townhouse he was living in at the time, we jumped at the chance. When my parents decided to buy a house in our town and rent it to us, we asked our roommate to move with us. Over time, Roomie has become one of my best friends--he is like my brother, and will be part of my ohana for years to come.

Our other roommate is my SO's brother.

We do strive to be considerate of our roommates; we try and keep our disagreements behind closed doors, and similarly, our roommates try to butt out. That's key--it REALLY pisses me off to NO END when the "peanut gallery" tries to comment on a disagreement between my SO and I. So as long as you mind your own business when it comes to their relationship, you should be cool.

It absolutely can work, if you like the people you live with, have good boundaries, and are comfortable talking to one another about what needs to be done around the household. Personally, Roomie and I swore over beers our first year living together that we would always be honest and up front with each other, even if it hurt. While it's hurt more often on my end than his, his honesty has really helped me grow as a person, and I appreciate that.

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Daniel_

*cues up the grammar nazis...*

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SabrinaFair

I personally don't like having roommates. I don't like having to apologize if I forget to take the trash out, or ask someone to turn down their music so I can study. My home is my castle, and I like being the only queen in it. :-)

That being said, as long as there are some ground rules, it should be fine.

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dlish

and 40 more people to step on your toes and get on the wrong side of you.

all im saying is, dont expect to get along with everyone. his guys gf may be that one person you cant get along with.

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NorthernGirl

Dont do it ........... being miserably single is one thing, but being around a happy couple is hell . especially when you hear them fucking . You dont want that .

ratbastid

Um. No, I actually meant... I have several albums of porn music. And I like to lay them out in a nice line in the order I'm going to play them. A queue, you see.

Or something.

Xerxys

**grabs SabrinaFair against her will and viciously plants a big wet one on her cheek**

YOU GET ME!!!

Sue

Never roomed with a couple in college, but I did have 2 other dorm-mates. One was ok, one smoked in the room, which I effing hated.

These days, I have a SO, it'll be 5 years together this November, but we both live in our own places.

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drag0nmanes

Sure it's possible, but it totally depends on the circumstances. I did this about 8 years ago, and initially it worked for us. We worked opposite schedules and were respectful of each others space and privacy so it was all good. Other factors led to their relationship failing further down the line, but to this day he's my roommate.
So in the end the worst case is you lose some money and people you thought were friends. If you can except that outcome as a possible end scenario then by all means go for it.

yournamehere

Don't forget - this can work both ways.

I once lived with a friend and his girlfriend. I was the one that was probably the hardest to get along with, being the single guy. It was usually me and someone else banging the walls at 3:00 a.m. Especially since I was tending bar and they both had day jobs. For the most part, though, it worked out well. When they got engaged, I decided it was time to move out and get my own place.

Another thing to look out for - make sure that they they don't think of themselves as "one couple," instead of "two people." Seriously, I almost shared a place with one couple who said that since they shared one room, they should only pay half the rent. I was like, 'Dude - if you want her to sleep in my room half the time, then okay; otherwise, you pay two thirds."

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Tully Mars

I can't tell you the number of times I've been in this situation in the last year or so. Being near Cancun a lot people around here get condo and house deals by the week and month. I went one time with two other couples. I got an air mattress in the living room while both couples got a bedroom with a bath. I literally had to go down to the lobby to use the can. Didn't really bother me until we went to check out and they wanted to split everything in thirds. Not only did they think I was going to split the week 3 ways they also spent a ton of time at the swim up bar. I spent the whole week diving and the only thing I drank I bought at the local Costco. The four people had a bar tab of nearly $700. Yeah my portion should have been nada and they thought I was going to pony up $235. They thought wrong.

Another time I went with a couple and I agreed to paid half since I was getting a bedroom. It's not they're fault I'm not a couple. They said they wanted to cook in the room to save money. Fine my me. The week went fine and I rarely saw them as they don't dive. But when we checked out the bar tab came to just under $35 for the week. We had drinks and nachos at the bar she split the drinks tab up according to who had what to drink then started working on who had the most of the $10 nacho plate. Turns out after three beers I can eat $6.85 of a $10 plate of nachos. I wasn't sure what she was doing at first but she got out a calculator and started punching in numbers. I really thought she saw a mistake. If I'd known she was going to spend 20 mins. on this I'd have just paid the $35 myself so we could go home.

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surferlove007

I've tried to avoid the whole renting from a couple just because I think I'd feel like a third wheel. I found a great place with two other roomies in Houston. I suggest Craigslist. But do meet and greets first.

xuvio38

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MSD

You guys will probably do fine as long as you talk about it beforehand and set some guidelines (we'll make our own breakfast and lunch and split dinner cooking and costs when we're all around; everyone puts the seat and the lid down, no exceptions; please go downstairs if it's after 1AM, I'm asleep, and you want to fuck; whoever sees the trash needs to be taken out does it, etc.)
If you have jealousy issues, it could be a problem. I wouldn't even think of this as an issue.

xuvio38

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Prince

It depends entirely on the people. I moved in with my girlfriend who was sharing a 2-bedroom apartment with her best friend. The friend said she was okay with it, but she wasn't really. We would always ask her to come do stuff with us, and she would decline, and then bitch about us always going out without her. We were engaged and eventually got married, and I think she resented the fact that we had all that lovey-dovey stuff going on while she had never had a boyfriend due to her unrealistic expectations. I was relieved to be rid of her.

I think one way of looking at this prospect is this: you won't all three be living together; they won't be living with you, you will be living with them. A couple becomes kind of an entity of its own, and it's always going to be two people and then you. It is far more likely that you will have to make more compromises than them to keep things going smoothly. If you are pretty self-sufficient and don't mind hearing their drunken sex through the wall now and then, then it is certainly a way to save money. But it's always going to be you and them, not you, her, and him.

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hunnychile

Our favorite roomate was Mr. Hunny's best friend named Jimmy, who always had a day job and played almost every night in a band. Made it easy for us to cohabitate in a small 2 bedroom upsatirs apartment. We seldom saw him. Plus he lived on cheerios (with milk) and always paid his third of the rent on time! When he had girlfriends, he liked to stay at the girls' place.

Good times though when we all got together to Party!

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