The silly question thread

[Zeraph]

1. How is it cats and dogs lick poo off their anus every day and not get sick?

2. Why do they sterilize the lethal injection needle in executions? Someone gave a good answer to this one time but I forget.

3. What happens if an inmate survives his execution? Surely this must have happened at some point.

4. This is more of a legitimate question, but just thought I'd throw it in here instead of making another thread. What are we going to do with prisoners with life sentences when we become quasi-immortal? Like when all diseases are cured and we can live 1000+ years theoretically. Once these "immortal" treatments become freely available, do we even give them to prisoners? How long does a life sentence become? And this scenario may not be far off, I could see this being a real concern within 50 years if things keep going the way they are in the medical industry.

So answer, or ask your own questions.

[ngdawg]

1) Actually, they can get sick but we hardly ever try to figure out why so don't attribute it to poop-eating. They do have enzymes in their stomach that kill most bacteria.
(google is my friend )
2) Don't really know, but probably has something to do with the "cruel and inhuman" line of thinking...
3) There was an inmate back in the 1800's who survived 3 tries at hanging. Third time, they said "fuck it" and his sentence was commuted to life.

4)I don't see humans living that long or any multiple diseases being eradicated entirely-others will come along. And a life sentence now doesn't mean true life most times, so why would that change?


My question:
Where does that other sock go?

[Redlemon]

Originally Posted by ngdawg

Where does that other sock go?

Didn't you ever wonder how you always make a blunder
When you're countin' all your socks
into the washing machine?
And when the dryer finishes dryin'
And you're cryin' cause you got a bunch
of old maid socks--
It's a bad scene
Where does the wayward footwear go?
To the bottom of the ocean?
Or to China?
Or to Cuba?
Or Aruba?
And when the dryer finishes dryin'
And you're cryin' cause you got a bunch
of old maid socks--
It's a bad scene

- The Bobs

My question:
Why is the hot water faucet always on the left side, but the direction that you turn it in changes from sink to sink?

[dlish]

Originally Posted by Redlemon

My question:
Why is the hot water faucet always on the left side, but the direction that you turn it in changes from sink to sink?

its a universal safety mechanism so that no one burns themselves. its so that anyone from anypart of the world knows that hot is on the left and cold is on the right without thinking about it


my questions - why do men have two testicles when you can work perfectly fine with just one?

[ItWasMe]

Either because God decided you needed two, or because of evolution (in which case, you may eventually have 3 or 4)

my questions:
what color is a chameleon?

why does the register at work announce "scale failed" in a loud voice only after I have hit the button to reset the scale? By then I've not only pretty much figured out that the scale failed, but also solved the problem. I asked my boss this question, but he just smiled and walked away.

[Lindy]

Why do we say "Go back and forth?" It really should be to go forth and back. Because you really can't go back until you've gone forth.

Lindy

[Ratman]

Back and forth: You can't go back until you've gone forth, it's true. However, if one's intention is to only go forth, when you have to back for some reason and then forth again, sometimes repeatedly, then it becomes back and forth. Otherwise it would simply be going and coming. It doesn't become back and forth until you've come back and gone forth again.

Sorry, no question at this time.

[Redlemon]

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

why does the register at work announce "scale failed" in a loud voice only after I have hit the button to reset the scale? By then I've not only pretty much figured out that the scale failed, but also solved the problem. I asked my boss this question, but he just smiled and walked away.

It has been designed with the sole purpose of humiliation.

---------- Post added at 02:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:54 PM ----------

Originally Posted by dlish

its a universal safety mechanism so that no one burns themselves. its so that anyone from anypart of the world knows that hot is on the left and cold is on the right without thinking about it

True, but what about the second half? When I need to turn the hot water down because someone flushed the toilet somewhere, I also need to know which direction means "less hot".

[Zeraph]

Because you should have figured out the direction on your initial turning of it on.

Riddle me this
Why do the crosswalks only flash the walk sign for like 2 seconds? I've literally jogged across the effing walk and only made it half way before it changes to the warning hand. If I walk it will actually get to the point of the 'no walk' sign. Then cars turning look at me all mad like I've done something wrong. I've nearly been killed several times trying to (properly) cross a street at a crosswalk, and during the proper time.

[Xerxys]

Persecution shall follow anyone who dares laugh ...

The phrase ... "shit bricks" / "Bricks will be shat" / "you shall shit bricks" / "dropped a brick"

What does it mean, why is it used?

[Poppinjay]

Term used to describe a situation where someone became so overcome with a feeling that they not only lost control of their bowels, they did so on a magnificant scale and let a square unit drop down. - Urban Dictionary

Here's a silly answer to an unasked question, when your gum loses its flavor on the bedpost overnight, put it in water for about ten minutes, and the flavor will come back.

3) There was an inmate back in the 1800's who survived 3 tries at hanging. Third time, they said "fuck it" and his sentence was commuted to life.

That would be John Lee, and he in fact was released at the age of 41 because they felt bad about the botched attempts.

In 1997 an Iranian woman was buried waist deep and stoned nearly to death for having sex. She woke up at the morgue. Amnesty International stepped in and she was released that same year.

Back in the 40's when Lousiana had no problem executing minors (as long as they're minorities), 16 year old Willie Francis was sent to the electric chair for killing a store owner. When they tried to execute, he started screaming for them to turn it off because he wasn't dying. Turns out, a drunk guard had set up the chair improperly. They killed him a year and a half later.

[ngdawg]

Here's one that has perplexed me most of my adult life:

Why does our hair behave differently day to day even when we do exactly the same things to it each day and why does it always look its best 5 minutes before going to bed???? Yea, that drives me nuts...

[Poppinjay]

This is just a tempt to state how absolutely hot you look.

[MSD]

Originally Posted by Zeraph

1. How is it cats and dogs lick poo off their anus every day and not get sick?

The bacteria at the ass-end of the GI tract is mostly the same stuff as the beginning. Saliva and stomach acid also do a pretty good job of killing organisms.

Originally Posted by dlish

my questions - why do men have two testicles when you can work perfectly fine with just one?

The same reason we have two of any organ: way back in the evolutionary tree, before the comforts of modern society, it was a lot more common for organs to fail or be catastrophically damaged. The people with two got to pass their genes on and the ones with one didn't.

Originally Posted by Zeraph

Why do the crosswalks only flash the walk sign for like 2 seconds? I've literally jogged across the effing walk and only made it half way before it changes to the warning hand. If I walk it will actually get to the point of the 'no walk' sign. Then cars turning look at me all mad like I've done something wrong. I've nearly been killed several times trying to (properly) cross a street at a crosswalk, and during the proper time.

That way people don't start walking too late. If the walk signal is on, you have enough time to get across before the light changes. If the warning hand is flashing, you should still have enough time to finish crossing, but not enough if you start. If drivers don't like it, they can go fuck themselves.

Originally Posted by ngdawg

Here's one that has perplexed me most of my adult life:

Why does our hair behave differently day to day even when we do exactly the same things to it each day and why does it always look its best 5 minutes before going to bed???? Yea, that drives me nuts...

First part: humidity and other atmospheric conditions. Second part: your skin's oil has wicked into your hair and formed a barrier against moisture and static electricity, and has given it a bit of weight so it stays in place better.

[fresnelly]

Why does putting ones hands into water inspire the urge to pee?

[dlish]

Originally Posted by fresnelly

Why does putting ones hands into water inspire the urge to pee?

fucked if i know, but msd seems like he has all the answers. he'll probably be in a day or two

[ametc]

What are those noises that you hear at night when you're home alone? It sounds like cupboards opening and closing and dishes rattling around. It's not mice because I remember once I kept the cupboard open.. and the next morning it was closed. I doubt ghosts because why would they only bother with the cupboards at night when I'm the only one home? I doubt earthquakes because why doesn't the crap in my room shuffle around, too?? hmmmm I always lock the doors and windows closed before I go to bed, too. hmmmmmm

[dlish]

Originally Posted by ametc

What are those noises that you hear at night when you're home alone? It sounds like cupboards opening and closing and dishes rattling around. It's not mice because I remember once I kept the cupboard open.. and the next morning it was closed. I doubt ghosts because why would they only bother with the cupboards at night when I'm the only one home? I doubt earthquakes because why doesn't the crap in my room shuffle around, too?? hmmmm I always lock the doors and windows closed before I go to bed, too. hmmmmmm

your imagination

are jews and muslims immune to the swine flu?

[Zeraph]

They're not immune, they can catch it through contact, not just consumption.

Why do my hands still smell like bleach no matter how much I wash them? You'd think if they still smell like bleach they'd be eating away at my skin, but my hands are fine, they just smell.

---------- Post added at 11:17 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:15 AM ----------

Originally Posted by ametc

What are those noises that you hear at night when you're home alone? It sounds like cupboards opening and closing and dishes rattling around. It's not mice because I remember once I kept the cupboard open.. and the next morning it was closed. I doubt ghosts because why would they only bother with the cupboards at night when I'm the only one home? I doubt earthquakes because why doesn't the crap in my room shuffle around, too?? hmmmm I always lock the doors and windows closed before I go to bed, too. hmmmmmm

I'm guessing when the temperature drops at night the wood constricts enough to slowly close until the spring of the hinges does the rest of the work.

It seems to affect older houses the most, my dad's house creeks a ton (especially the roof, used to scare me as a kid thinking it was about to collapse) when it cools during the night.

[Xerxys]

Why do tears BURN!!! Even when I yawn, they really sting!

[Zeraph]

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Why do tears BURN!!! Even when I yawn, they really sting!

Maybe you have too much salt in your diet? Mine don't burn.

[thespian86]

Originally Posted by dlish

your imagination

are jews and muslims immune to the swine flu?

Israel is referring to it as "Mexico Flu" because pork isn't kosher. So are they immune to "swine flu"; the answer is yes. Mexico flu not so much.

[shakran]

The current "swine" flu (H1N1) is not caught from pork. It's improperly named, so Israel is on the right track even if their reasoning is silly.

[Redlemon]

Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21

Israel is referring to it as "Mexico Flu" because pork isn't kosher. So are they immune to "swine flu"; the answer is yes. Mexico flu not so much.

I was told that the preferred term is now "hamthrax".

[Jetée]

source: BBC NEWS | Europe | EU quarantines London in swine flu panic

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into new strain: H1Z1.

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alert to phase six, its highest level, and advised governments to activate pandemic contingency plans.

In Mexico, the epicentre of the outbreak, President Felipe Calderon urged people to stay at home over the next five days.



CONFIRMED CASES



Mexico: 168 suspected deaths - eight confirmed - 12 zombies

US: one death, at least 91 confirmed cases

New Zealand: 13 confirmed cases

Canada: 19 confirmed cases

UK: 5 confirmed cases

Spain: 10 confirmed cases

Germany: 3 confirmed cases

Israel, Costa Rica: 2 confirmed cases each

The Netherland, Switzerland, Austria, Peru: 1 confirmed case each

--------------------------------------------------

Mapping the outbreak

Mexican economy squeezed by flu

Mexico: First swine flu cases

Africa awaits two swine flu tests

There are many cases elsewhere - including the US, Canada, Latin America, Europe, Israel, and New Zealand.

BBC health correspondent Mark McGrith says the raising of the WHO alert on Wednesday suggests a global epidemic, or pandemic, is imminent.

In the latest developments:
» The Netherlands confirms its first case of zombie swine flu, in a three-year-old boy recently returned from Mexico. After passing away early this morning, he rose from the dead and lunged at his mother.
» Ghana has become the latest country to ban pork imports as a precaution against swine flu, though no cases have been found in the West African country
» China’s health minister says that the country’s scientists have developed a "sensitive and fast" test for spotting swine flu in conjunction with US scientists and the WHO. The country has recorded no incidence of the flu yet. There methods, however, have been uneffective in spotting the H1Z1 strain.

At the meeting of health ministers in Luxembourg, a French proposal for a continent-wide travel advisory for Mexico will be discussed.



SYMPTOMS - WHAT TO DO

Swine flu symptoms are similar to those produced by ordinary seasonal flu - fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue

If you have flu symptoms and recently visited affected areas of Mexico, you should seek medical advice

If you suspect you are infected, you should stay at home and take advice by telephone initially, in order to minimise the risk of infection

If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.

--------------------------------------------------

Q&A: What is swine flu?

Swine flu: How serious a threat?

Can masks help spread?

The quest for a swine flu vaccine

It is unclear whether the EU executive has the power to impose a travel ban.

Several countries have restricted travel to Mexico and many tour operators have cancelled holidays.

Other members are resisting calls to implement travel bans or close borders, on the grounds - backed by the WHO - that there is little evidence of their efficacy.

The EU ministers will also try to agree on how to refer to the new virus.

The European Commission has been calling it "novel flu", replacing the word "swine" to avoid prompting a fall in demand for pork and bacon.

On Wednesday, Egypt began a mass slaughter of its pigs - even though the WHO says the virus was now being transmitted from human to human.

[Xerxys]

Latelky I have just been so fuckin' fed up with work.

How do I stop the goddamn feeling of a stupid headache while at work, because once I get home, the headache goes away!!

[Zeraph]

I recommend a 9mm vitamin, administered directly to head, shoot one dose every 4-6 hours as needed.
Active ingredient: lead
WARNING: may cause instant death, swelling, bleeding, or bloating
Stop use and ask a doctor if: you're taking this seriously

[Xerxys]

Originally Posted by Zeraph

Stop use and ask a doctor if: you're taking this seriously

I'm fucked ...

[Halanna]

Originally Posted by Zeraph

4. This is more of a legitimate question, but just thought I'd throw it in here instead of making another thread. What are we going to do with prisoners with life sentences when we become quasi-immortal? Like when all diseases are cured and we can live 1000+ years theoretically. Once these "immortal" treatments become freely available, do we even give them to prisoners? How long does a life sentence become? And this scenario may not be far off, I could see this being a real concern within 50 years if things keep going the way they are in the medical industry.

Isn't there something when the Judge sentences, he/she says, "you shall be imprisoned for the remainder of your natural life . . ."?

That is an interesting question though. With life expectancies rising, some things will have to be re-vamped. Where do you draw the line between basic medical care and life prolonging care?

Really though, a life sentence without possibly of parole is a death sentence. Just the sentence is given to nature to carry out, and not the State.

[The_Jazz]

Originally Posted by Halanna

Really though, a life sentence without possibly of parole is a death sentence. Just the sentence is given to nature to carry out, and not the State.

Interesting idea, but I don't agree. A death sentence means that the state will chose the time of your death. A life sentence does not. It seems to me that the variation makes all the difference.

If the post office is in so much trouble, why can't they increase the cost of bulk mailings instead of first class stamps? If nothing else, wouldn't that cut down on the amount of junk mail I get?

[Wrexify]

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

If the post office is in so much trouble, why can't they increase the cost of bulk mailings instead of first class stamps? If nothing else, wouldn't that cut down on the amount of junk mail I get?

I'm guessing they must care much more about keeping the business of the bulk mailers than keeping yours or mine...

Q: Why have more birds designated my new car as a toilet within the first month than they EVER have with all of my previous cars combined?

[Nisses]

Because the new wax on the car makes for much more interesting splatter patterns?

Why are religions still around ?

[Zeraph]

That's easy; cause people are still around

Why don't (most) chairs and desks sit at the proper height for typing? And what's with those crazy high booths/tables in restaraunts?! I'm 6'1 and I feel like a baby eating at the big boy table.

[savmesom11]

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated vs. murdered?

Why does round pizza come in a square box?

[MSD]

Originally Posted by Zeraph

Why do my hands still smell like bleach no matter how much I wash them? You'd think if they still smell like bleach they'd be eating away at my skin, but my hands are fine, they just smell.

Bleach breaks up oils and denatures certain proteins on your skin, leaving a porous, dry surface where bits of bleach stick around. Rinse them with white vinegar then rinse with water. The acetic acid reacts with the remaining hypochlorite ions, leaving a water soluble residue that rinses off. Any vinegar smell will wash off with soap.

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Why do tears BURN!!! Even when I yawn, they really sting!

Your eyes are probably irritated from rubbing them, and salt in irritation hurts. Even so, Ask next time you see an eye doctor or regular doctor just in case there's a bigger problem. You only have one set of eyes and you want to keep them in top shape.

Originally Posted by Xerxys

How do I stop the goddamn feeling of a stupid headache while at work, because once I get home, the headache goes away!!

You're stressed. Try this pressure point: find the triangle between your neck, trapezius muscle, and collarbone. Cross your arms, place your thumbs in that triangle, and pinch the trapezius as hard as you can tolerate. Hold for 30 seconds and release while exhaling. This pressure point will release a noticeable quantity of endorphines and relax you. It's even better if you can find someone else to do it, and have them massage your neck while your'e relaxed, which will stimulate blood flow to the brain.

Alternately, you're allergic to something at work and should take some Zyrtec.

Originally Posted by Wrexify

I'm guessing they must care much more about keeping the business of the bulk mailers than keeping yours or mine...

Q: Why have more birds designated my new car as a toilet within the first month than they EVER have with all of my previous cars combined?

Confirmation bias

Originally Posted by savmesom11

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated vs. murdered?

In addition to conveying a sense of importance, the term assassination tends to indicate that a murder is ideologically motivated. If an individual has influence over any sort of political, social, or religious movement and is murdered in revenge, to silence them, or to reduce the morale of those who support their cause, it can be said that they were assassinated. This is a relative term, much like the terrorist/freedom fighter dichotomy.

This reminds me of a tangentially related quote by World's King when Dan Rather retired. It was something like "What the hell do they mean, Dan Rather 'stepped down' as an anchor? He retired. That's like saying the cast of Friends stepped down."

Why does round pizza come in a square box?

It would take much longer, require more cuts and folds, and require more resources to recycle the discarded pieces to make a relatively round box, especially when it comes to making a working lid.

[IdeoFunk]

The bacteria at the ass-end of the GI tract is mostly the same stuff as the beginning. Saliva and stomach acid also do a pretty good job of killing organisms.

Doesn't fecal matter often contain E. Coli? I believe it's that because these common pets (cats and dogs) are carnivorous and that their saliva and stomach fluids tend to be much more acidic than ours.

- parenthetical note, I never knew until I read it the other day that the skin of reptiles is often a breeding ground for salmonella

As for frivolous questions..... ...I've always wondered what the point of those skill testing questions on lottery/contests is. Do people actually get them wrong??? And if so, does that serve as a legitimate basis to deny these people their prize????????????

And finally (because I've always been too lazy to research this, and am now really tired) why is the sky blue????

[ItWasMe]

MSD: I don't know...maybe for body parts? To convert him? For rubber band target practice?

Originally Posted by Xerxys

How do I stop the goddamn feeling of a stupid headache while at work, because once I get home, the headache goes away!!

Follow MSD's advice, if you can figure out what the heck he was talking about without pictures. If the Zyrtec doesn't work, try an antihistamine with a decongestant. Also a health teacher once told us if you get stressed/headache-y at school to munch on peanuts or cashews (don't remember which).

Originally Posted by IdeoFunk

- parenthetical note, I never knew until I read it the other day that the skin of reptiles is often a breeding ground for salmonella

As for frivolous questions..... ...I've always wondered what the point of those skill testing questions on lottery/contests is. Do people actually get them wrong??? And if so, does that serve as a legitimate basis to deny these people their prize????????????

And finally (because I've always been too lazy to research this, and am now really tired) why is the sky blue????

It's true. Especially their belly area. We have a gecko, and keep a large bottle of anti-bacterial stuff beside the tank.

I think you need to pass the skill test to be considered for the contest. A no-pass probably means you were not even a contestant.

A clear cloudless day-time sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light. When we look towards the sun at sunset, we see red and orange colours because the blue light has been scattered out and away from the line of sight.

Edit: My question: WHAT is Twitter?

[Xerxys]

Originally Posted by ngdawg

...
My question:
Where does that other sock go?

[MSD]

Originally Posted by IdeoFunk

As for frivolous questions..... ...I've always wondered what the point of those skill testing questions on lottery/contests is. Do people actually get them wrong??? And if so, does that serve as a legitimate basis to deny these people their prize????????????

Canada prohibits contest that award prizes strictly based on chance. The math quiz displays that some sort of skill is required, even if it's elementary math, and bypasses the law.

[Jetée]

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

Edit: My question: WHAT is Twitter?

I think Twistedmosaic provided a good explanation of the service:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

... However, they are a searchable database of status updates. Also, it is common to use them to share pictures. And quick news updates.

Examples of 'more than status updates' useage:

What are people saying about "The Hangover"? Search for it!
Twitter: What are you doing?

Is Hulu working on Boxee?
hulu on boxee status (ishuluonboxee) on Twitter

What's happening on Mars?
MarsPhoenix (MarsPhoenix) on Twitter

Want to be sure you'll here about The Rapture/cthulu's rising/assasinations, even if you're not near a TV?
CNN Breaking News (cnnbrk) on Twitter

A lot of websites treat them like an RSS feed as well, letting you know when favorite site X has an update/new comic/new song posted.

Edit: Additionally, it's unsymmetrical. I really like Adam Savage and Penn Jilette, but doubt either of them would accept a friend request from me on Facebook...however, I can subscribe to their twitter feeds and get to hear their little bits of daily wit without them having to acknowledge me in any way

donttrythis (donttrythis) on Twitter
Penn Jillette (pennjillette) on Twitter

Now here's something that was never quite elaborated by my mentors, and it dawned on me a couple times to ask about it, not the least of which being today.

What's the basis for the law and coined adage of "possession is 9/10ths of the law", and how is it applied in daily life situations?


e.g.
What would happen if I found a crisp, cool, unopened and abandoned bottle of Pepsi One underneath a park bench on a hot summer's day, and claimed it as my own? To go further, say I dropped my wallet at the exact moment I picked up the bottle, the original purchaser of the soda remembers that he had misplaced his product earlier in the day, goes in search of it, happens upon my wallet and calls me? If he was a real dick in this unfathomable scenario, and had found witnesses that saw me swipe his refreshment only to gulp it down before their eyes, could he submit my name to the authorities for due compensation? Am I safe in claiming "9/10th possession", or is there even a remote possibility that I could be charged with theft?