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Old 11-19-2009, 07:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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More relationship stuff

For all of you who have helped me in giving advice the last couple posts regarding my relationship problems, I thank you. There's a lot of reasons why it's not going to work out between us. Not sure where to begin...I didn't mention the fact that there was hardly any room between my last relationship and this one. And the baggage was carried over. And it was too soon to have a relationship again. I feel horrible for what I have put him through, the jealousy especially, it got so bad that he has needed space all this week from me.

The only thing now that I want to concentrate on is me, me, me. As my friends have been giving me advice as well, they say the same thing...I need to find myself, and then I can find someone to share myself with. But until I am complete, there's no way of being able to share myself with someone else if I don't know myself. The narcissistic behavoir has got to end. It's too much, even for me. I wouldn't want to date me right now.

So anyways, I am glad to have found this online community, I'm very thankful for all of you and your advice. Oh, and I plan on going to therapy, I think it would help greatly. Thanks to all again!
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Good luck to you crystalan. Glad to have you around and I hope you can feel better soon.
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.


Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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Old 11-20-2009, 07:35 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Sorry - I don't recall your past post(s) regarding relationships. But jsyk, you're not alone. I for one, am in the same boat as you. You need to know yourself and your worth before you expect someone to fall in love with you and devote their life to you. In my situation, he loves me. Hard. And doesn't want to get rid of me after our year-long relationship. Yet he doesn't want to 'be with me.' I've been riding the secret girlfriend road for over 5 months. But today makes 8 days since I've spoken with him, telling him to never contact me again. And I'm ok.

Here's to living life.
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Old 11-21-2009, 04:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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seems like you're doing ok crystalan. make sure you have a strong friend base to leverage off when you need it.

good luck, and hope to see you on the board
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Old 11-25-2009, 12:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks to all of you. I hope that I can stay away from any relationship, because I am feeling very vulnerable right now, until I can stand on my own two feet. How do you deal with relationships/significant others? How easy/challenging is it for you? Does it just flow because you found a solid person like yourself? How does it work? Tired of feeling like the only person who has to learn from their mistakes before improving them and myself. I am a bit pessimistic right now, so apologies, but seriously, I always wonder how some people make long term relationships look so easy. Please indulge me.
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Old 11-26-2009, 03:26 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I wish you all the best, crystalan. Take the time to you need to find yourself and get over the problems of your past relationships. I have to admit that I did the same. My last relationship didn't work out because I didn't manage to get over the one before, there were just to many memories and open questions.
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Old 11-26-2009, 06:20 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crystalan View Post
How do you deal with relationships/significant others? How easy/challenging is it for you? Does it just flow because you found a solid person like yourself? How does it work?
I have no idea. ;(
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